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Hafiz 2013

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RE: Just Joke!!
7/17/2013 5:55:52 PM
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
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Hafiz 2013

226
791 Posts
791
Invite Me as a Friend
RE: Just Joke!!
7/21/2013 8:44:58 AM
A woman on her death bed asks her husband to rush home and get a wooden box out from under their bed. The man retuns home, gets the box out from under the bed and opens it to find 3 eggs and $7000.00 in cash.He returns to the hospital and asks his wife: "Honey, why are there 3 eggs and $7000.00 in cash?" She replied: "Well, over our 35 years of marriage whenever we had bad lovemaking I would put an egg in the box." So, immediately the husband thought of himself as a love machine.And he asked her then: "Well, what is the money for?" And she replied: "Every time I got a dozen eggs I sold them!!!!"
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Hafiz 2013

226
791 Posts
791
Invite Me as a Friend
RE: Just Joke!!
7/23/2013 10:05:08 PM
An 86-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his test results come back normal. The doctor says, " Gary everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Gary replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof* the light goes off." "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Gary 's wife. "Marianne, he says, Gary is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof* the light goes off?" "OH MY!" Marianne exclaims.!!!!" "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."
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Hafiz 2013

226
791 Posts
791
Invite Me as a Friend
RE: Just Joke!!
7/24/2013 10:13:02 AM
A psychiatrist evaluates 3 of his patients before he decides to discharge them. To do this, he draws a car on the wall and asks all three of them to push the car until it starts.

The first two promptly start pushing while the third person stands there laughing at them.

The psychiatrist then asks him why he is laughing at his colleagues and he replied: "Doctor, don't mind them, I have the key to that car with me here in my pocket!"
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Hafiz 2013

226
791 Posts
791
Invite Me as a Friend
RE: Just Joke!!
7/31/2013 2:19:02 PM
Stupid Blonde!!
Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know?

The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.

The redhead is elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house.

The next day, the brunette and the redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
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