Today, I seem to have had a file of jokes from around the world dropped on my desk:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Texan: “Where are y'all from?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with
prepositions.”
Texan: “Okay – where are y'all from, jackass?”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner
with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.”
But instead I said: “You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life”.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the
Major: “Major Barry, what the devil's wrong with Sergeant Jones’ platoon? They
seem to be all twitching and jumping about.”
“Well sir,” says Major Barry after a moment of observation. “There seems to be a
weasel chomping on his privates.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and finally....
get ready for it....
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Have a terrific weekend everybody and remember to take our two short surveys and the slogan poll!
Social Network Survey
Adlandpro Website Survey
Adlandpro Slogan Poll
Dave