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Dave Cottrell

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RE: I Had Amnesia Once... The Friday File
5/4/2013 7:28:11 AM
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Once again, after a one week hiatus due to me forgetting a week had gone by... (or was it three days? Or ten??)

It's time for THE FRIDAY FILE!! This week's subject, especially for Branka, Lydia, Nerma and yes, our fearless leader, Bogdan, is CRAZY ENGLISH!!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing...........

If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.??????

Have a terrific weekend, everyone!

Dave




ha ha ha ha ha ha I know it by heart!

but any time when I read it, I rotfl like I read it first time.
Dave, if you only could sink into my native (both, CRO and Serb), what a fun you'd find here! and Nerma's native is mix of my two plus a lot of turcisms.
so, when it comes to dialects haha it is truly crazy.

thank you Dave!


Hahaha... we need to have you recite this for a Youtube video... maybe you and Nerma could do it as a team! That would be muyo fun... lol

hahahahaha what a great idea!!!!!
Nerma is coming in 1 day visit to me on May 24th.
I'd do my best to make this video.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhh can't wait!
Bosnian dialect is ............ I am dying from laughter. I already said it, Bosnian people are hilarious, and we can offer a few of our dialects.
I promise to do it.

I am SO looking forward to that. It will be GREAT!
+2
Nerma Selimović

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RE: I Had Amnesia Once... The Friday File
5/4/2013 8:02:26 AM
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Once again, after a one week hiatus due to me forgetting a week had gone by... (or was it three days? Or ten??)

It's time for THE FRIDAY FILE!! This week's subject, especially for Branka, Lydia, Nerma and yes, our fearless leader, Bogdan, is CRAZY ENGLISH!!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing...........

If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.??????

Have a terrific weekend, everyone!

Dave




ha ha ha ha ha ha I know it by heart!

but any time when I read it, I rotfl like I read it first time.
Dave, if you only could sink into my native (both, CRO and Serb), what a fun you'd find here! and Nerma's native is mix of my two plus a lot of turcisms.
so, when it comes to dialects haha it is truly crazy.

thank you Dave!


Hahaha... we need to have you recite this for a Youtube video... maybe you and Nerma could do it as a team! That would be muyo fun... lol


Hahahaha, Dave! I enjoy reading your posts.)) Thanks!

Maybe before I learned English (which is crazy language) when I made ​​a Youtube video: D
+2
Nerma Selimović

114
197 Posts
197
Invite Me as a Friend
RE: I Had Amnesia Once... The Friday File
5/4/2013 8:05:22 AM
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Once again, after a one week hiatus due to me forgetting a week had gone by... (or was it three days? Or ten??)

It's time for THE FRIDAY FILE!! This week's subject, especially for Branka, Lydia, Nerma and yes, our fearless leader, Bogdan, is CRAZY ENGLISH!!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing...........

If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.??????

Have a terrific weekend, everyone!

Dave




ha ha ha ha ha ha I know it by heart!

but any time when I read it, I rotfl like I read it first time.
Dave, if you only could sink into my native (both, CRO and Serb), what a fun you'd find here! and Nerma's native is mix of my two plus a lot of turcisms.
so, when it comes to dialects haha it is truly crazy.

thank you Dave!


Hahaha... we need to have you recite this for a Youtube video... maybe you and Nerma could do it as a team! That would be muyo fun... lol

hahahahaha what a great idea!!!!!
Nerma is coming in 1 day visit to me on May 24th.
I'd do my best to make this video.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhh can't wait!
Bosnian dialect is ............ I am dying from laughter. I already said it, Bosnian people are hilarious, and we can offer a few of our dialects.
I promise to do it.

I am SO looking forward to that. It will be GREAT!


Hahahaha, Branka! The idea is not bad :) We'll figure it out for this video. I'm sure it will be great!
+3
Branka Babic

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RE: I Had Amnesia Once... The Friday File
5/4/2013 9:46:36 AM
Yes Nerma and Dave, this really could be great.
One promise please hahahaha.
Promise that you'd not delete me from your friends list.
+2
Nerma Selimović

114
197 Posts
197
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RE: I Had Amnesia Once... The Friday File
5/4/2013 9:53:50 AM
Quote:
Yes Nerma and Dave, this really could be great.
One promise please hahahaha.
Promise that you'd not delete me from your friends list.


Hahahahahaha, I look forward to our video. Which will it be a hit :)))
+1


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