Hey Jean Marie!
Amazing stuff My Friend... I want to Thank You so much for sharing this road map to Mutual Respect with us here... This is great contribution that certainly Makes a Difference!
There are so many points in there that are worth going deeper, but I just want to emphasize on the following, especially in regard to the experience of Amanda...
"3. Listen - the most important part of communication is listening.... whether or not you agree with what is being said, be courteous and listen attentively. You will not foster mutual respect by always having the "last word" or by interrupting. Even if you disagree with the point at hand, wait until the person speaking has finished. Then, make any contrary opinion in a courteous manner, using diplomacy and tact. Remember, especially when it is a "touchy" subject, it took courage for the person to speak to you. Thank them for trusting & respecting you enough to share their ideas or feelings."
Even in this short paragraph, there is so much important aspects to consider...
a) I do not personally think that it is necessary or important to mention a contrary opinion, unless I am asked to by the person expressing her point of view... If we consider the issue of name change for Amanda, I do not think there is a need for me or anyone else to say I agree or not... and, then, getting in trying to convince her in changing her point of view... If she asked me my opinion about it, then - this is different - I need to be as honest and courteous as possible in expressing my point of view and, even reassure her that this is my point of view but that she has perfectly the right to her own, and that I will fully respect her decision no matter what...
b) the last phrase is so important... if the person took the risk to share with you so important feelings to her... it is because at some point in time you were able to gain her Trust... be conscious of how precious this is and do not act so that you will loose that Trust forever... Respect The Difference!
With Friendship,
Alain
|