|
Hello Branka,
Thanks for the invitation. My goodness, this is deep and I'm feeling very tired tonight but I'll try to put in my pennyworth.
I believe that we all have a life purpose, a mission to fulfill.
We have to open ourselves up and look within before we can find out what that life purpose is.
I often say that you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. This is always when my mother has upset me again. The relationship between myself and my mother can never be described as a positive experience. It is in fact usually a very negative experience. Does this mean that all the negativity coming from her is my negativity being mirrored back to me? What a horrid thought.
I won't go into details here because it wouldn't be fair on my mother, but there was a case of jealousy. The connection between my Daddy and I was very strong. When I was in my early teens my mother told me that I was an accident and that I always had been and still was. Did that hurt? Yes! But was I an accident or was I expressly born to my parents or did I decide to be born to my parents? Did I have a purpose to fulfill? I have a deep sense of the necessity to bring love to this world and it's people. One starts giving out love with one's family. In my case the love that I projected was accepted by my Daddy, my sisters and my brother, and nastily rejected by my mother.
With the help of the angels I believe we can all make a difference. I try to find the positive in everyone and everything and I try not to dwell on the negativity surrounding my mother and our communion. With the help of God's angels, I very often succeed but there are times......
That brings up another question. Is this seeking of the positive a reason to have been born to my mother as a balance against her negative. This could have been part of my purpose. She did have a bad childhood, but that should not be an excuse for her behaviour and attitude toward her own children. It had the opposite effect on me.
I am who I am. I've been influenced by my parents. My mother was always putting me down and I therefore for a long time had an inferiority complex. On the other hand, my Daddy always said: "You can do it." He also said that I was the rebel of the family because I've always done things my way and I always ask why; I don't do things just because that's what others say we must do. Daddy told me about when he was a boy. He was given the chance to go to the grammar school. He refused to go because you had to wear a cap and the other children took the micky out of the grammar school boys. He told me how much he regretted that decision made over something so silly. He told me to be who I am and do what I think is the right thing to do regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. I am doing just that.
I must admit that sometimes I stop myself from saying something or doing something because I picture my mother saying or doing it and I remember how I felt. My sister says that she does the same........
Well, I'm so tired that my eyes are drooping. I hope what I've written makes sense.
I'm now off to bed.
Goodnight,
Sarah
.
|