thanks Julianna so was I ,I will be doing my story shortly as well.I just have so much work I am going to have to hire afew people.Thanks,kathy I love you

Hi Steve!  :-)

Thanks for the response!  And I do agree with you on one point!  And I thought I took great care in trying to NOT come across as accusing or judgemental.  I aplogize if you felt that I was. 

You stated:

It actually puts the blame on the victims of abuse for allowing their partners to abuse them.


I do see what you are trying to say here......but I'm sorry, I disagree.  If a victim did happen feel that way, it is from their own perceptions and insecurities. (something that is beyond the responsibilities of someone outside of the situation.)  Not because of what someone may or may not have said.  But it was surely NOT intended or even implied. 

So, I guess that by saying that:

First of all........No one can make you feel inferior....or abuse you in any way unless you give them the permission to do so.

The message I was trying to relay was: That each individual has the decision to stay in that situation.....or to remove themselves from it.

I realize that the victims do not ask to be abused.  But they don't have to continue to allow the abuse to go on by making the conscious decision to stay with the abuser either. 

Read THE FOUR AGREEMENTS Steve - and you'll then see why I so highly recommended this book to any victims out there.

My most sincere apologies to anyone who might of felt that I was being judgemental.  This is a very serious issue and I would never want to judge anyone but the aggressor.

My heart and prayers go out to each and every one of you.  May you all find the peace and true happiness that you so richly deserve!

God Bless.

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sorry about that i didnt really feel up to sharing my story with everyone at adland 

 

 

I guess it is time to add my two bits in  here as I am a man who was in a abusive relationship for over seven years and can tell you first hand that it doesnt start out that way and you dont realize how you are the victm until you are already one and are living it daily

it starts out slow and you never realize what you are fighting until you start feeling you are losing the battle for someones love and scramblling to make the person that you thought you loved you happy

but the day never comes so you take yourself apart everyday to find out what youre doing wrong and try to figure out why the one you love is never happy with what you are doing and you are always doing everything possible until you are just living to make the person you love happy

I never thought that i was a abused I just thought i was doing everything wrong and that the way i thought of love must be off and I was the one to blame for not knowing how to love her right

it took me along time to realize and then when i did it meant that i would lose my house and assests and there would be even more to pay to this relationship  I had got myself into and I it had cost me so much already I didnt want to lose more of my being to this horrible thing i was living in

I did leave the realationship and it was very violent and I was verbally and physically abused in frount of our whole community and family and friends and they all watched as it happened and being that i am over 6 ft 200 lbs everyone looked at me like i was weak and i should just do something about it but what was i to do the only way to stop the violents was to fight back and being that I am a kind spirit this was not a option that I was not willing to do I could of in a second but violents is what I was trying to stop not create

I went to all the powers that be and they really didnt take it that seriously how could a man as big as i am be the one that was being abused and by a woman that is 2/3rds my size and they made me feel about two feet tall and what kind of man doesnt stand up to this like a man and just make her stop

well I guess it is this type Me it was only when she came and distroyed my restraunt in frount of 20 of my friends and family  did anyone even take me seriously and then try to help me in any way and then I went to to cops and they told me there was nothing they could do it was our house and I would have to live with it or wait for it to get worse , witch it did and alot I lived in my truck for over two weeks only sneeking into my home I bought and paid for to see all my animals and see they were ok and I had to hire staff to runn my business for me so it would not be distroyed by her out breaks and I hid out at friend house until the storm passed and when i finally did show my face again she tryed to run me over and thru food at me in public and verbaly abused me to no end .

the only option I had was to sell the house and give up on everything i had worked a life time to create to get her out so i could go and take care of my animals but after the assult with the car and the public abuse the police finally stepped in and put a peace bond on her witch if you dont know is just a peice of paper and really doesnt stop anything it is only paper but the police coming to the door finally sank into her head and she didnt want to go to jail so she calmed down and that was it for the abuse and us forever and I have never looked back .

I did manage to keep my home I paid for but I had to pay her out half to get her to leave and to hold on to it .theres justice for you

I am tired of even these thoughts in my head it was a ugly time in my life i just wanted to share it all with you before you all act like you know  what you are talking about and try to give advise it is not at all the way it looks from the outside it takes time to build up and time before you even know it happening and until you have lived thru it you shouldnt comment or try to give advise unless you are a professional with degree or a victim that has made it thru it.

 

I guess the thing that stick out to me thru all this is that if the rolls were reversed and I was doing this to her I would of been tarred and feather and the cops would of had me face down in the dirt the first day it happened and being that it was a man being abused there was no support out there for me or others

I only thank god that I had the strenght to go thru this and that I had a great up bringing to come back from it stronger than ever and am never looking back

Now 6 months later

I am very fortunate to have met the women of my dreams and my true soul mate to me in my life and she embraces everything that that i value and is the most loving and caring person I have ever met and has made me a very happy man and lets me be who i always have been inside and loves me more than I could of ever amagined possible just the way i am

So i guess the lord rewards us who persevere and boy was i rewarded and my life has never been more amazing

Well  I hope that i have shed some light  on the topic for you all and that you are all happy out there and are being loved for who you are the way you are and take the time to tell the people your with how much you love them daily

The skys the limit

Aaron