Hey Jason,

Are you sure you're not Clark Kent?

Hi Ally,

You must have quite a presense.

Hi Norm,

Your alcohol level detector is awesome, but you have an even greater super power and one the best on earth, you make people laugh with an awesome sense of humour!

I'm still rolling on the proverbial floor laughing my proverbial butt off.

Hey! Is the sun over the Yardarm yet?

Jason

LOL Andrew I guess maybe you could call it that! Maybe this explains why a 67 y.o. man approached me on Monday at the mall while I was waiting for my car to be fixed and asked me if I would come to his birthday party on the 16th over at the home and would I bring a picture along b/c I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen! LOL Poor fella, never had a wife, admitted he lived with his mother til she passed away and then he was taken to the home! OK, I'll tell you another one, I'm also telepathic, I'm really good at sending both pictures and my words, even over distances. For instance, when I was in my early 20's I overheard a conversation about telepathy on the transit bus as I headed home after work and sent a red square 'out there' and the 'receiver' picked it up and not the intended 'givers' colour and shape! lol Every once in a while I hear something back. :) Lately I've been getting chatter but just ask for it to be turned down as it is just voice over voice and completely undiscernable. Thanks for this forum, Ally

Hi Jason,

having had a pretty lunatic life I suppose it gets into the bones!

I have just discovered yet another super(?) minor power - although I am not sure that I can really claim it - other than possibly being part of the creation.

I can stuff up Nature in 2-seconds flat!

We here so many people extolling on the beauty and efficiency of Nature, that it must be me that is affecting it. Consider this:

1) Birds are designed to make nests - right? Well, our buggers can't. What they can make is a hell of a mess.  It is quite extraordinary to watch the little perishers (especially pigeons) go through the motions of making a nest on the support posts which Blind Freddie can see won't work, and then watch with heads on one side as the whole lot tumbles to the ground.  Not once - not twice - but repeatedly.

Swallows nest in our barn and fly in and out - and wallop into the house windows all the time.  Fortunately they don't kill themselves, but there are enough of them wandering about the garden with rotten headaches wondering why the air suddenly became solid.  and they don't learn!  Even Scruff (the cat) is bemused by their activities.  Mind you he's bemused by everything so that's no measure.

2 - Cats cannot fly or catch frogs.

Scruff - our mouse-murderer goes out at night to enjoy his depredations and we ask no questions - as we don't want to hear about them. However on the past two nights his enthusiasms (Spring?) have got the better of him he has proved to be a total Wally in his hunting. First is his launching himself after a family of bats that come to the garden at evensong. He is totally and correctly mocked for his efforts.

However reasonable this appears to be, catching frogs would surely be in his purview and abilities?  Nope.

Last night, he was in my arms ready for departure when as I opened the door he flew out toward the pond - obviously spotting a frog. Now none of your actual hunting techniques we hear about - just a mad chase and launch (again).

Ever heard a cat yell  'sh.............t!!!'?   Well I swear I did, as he realised - in mid-air, that his trajectory was going to land him in the middle of the pond.  Which it did - splash!

Now the only thing to his credit was how fast he came out again - and that WAS impressive!

Now is it them or is it me - as I don't see or hear of this applied lunacy anywhere else?

OK The Sun is now very definitely over the yard-arm, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed is back in the house, the Sun is shining - and guess what - yep - it is getting dangerously low again!

Cheers,

Norm

PS - if you enjoy this sort of stuff and want to know how it developed download my book 'Brothels, Beans & In-betweens' on http://www.lulu.com/norman-clark