OLD......? Recently there have been several posts here which made light of the problems the elderly experience, so I thought it would be good to counter it with serious information about aging. --- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." --- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs . --- I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,and new knees. I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Aging means we lose our friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!!!!! --- I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. --- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure Joyce will visit me twice a week " --- My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. --- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. --- I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging. --- It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker. --- These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief." --- I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty." --- Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches. --- Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up! (Persoanlly, I think the ground gets further away from me each day.) --- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. --- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Humor is healthy medicene, so I hoped you had a good laugh. Mary

Hi Mary. Funny but some of it is true. I lost a lot from age, medication
and wear and tear. After 50 I found some things didn't work as
well as they used to, so I went and researched anti-aging technology.

It works with outward appearance, but age still takes its toll
nonetheless. So I decided to take a new picture this morning.
My wife says I don't look any different, the last one was getting
to be almost a year old.

Remember, there are some things that get better with age.
Wisdom, eternal love, and the love of life as you can see
your time on the earth is becoming shorter.

Life is indeed way to short to waste any without spending your
day laughing and enjoying your life.

Robert

Hey Robert, I like the picture. Laughter is great to kick the endorphens (not sure of spellling) on. Otherwise we have to consume more St. John's Wort. Problems and worries don't go away so enjoy some happy times where and whenever you can.

Thank you Mary,

So true and so amusing.

I recently stood on the doorstep of a client hoping to receive payment of an account. I waited some time.

My client came to the door (still a very attractive lady and approaching 50 years old).

As she opened the door she was clearly laughing to herself and I enquired why, she waved my question aside and commenced to complete our business but appeared still to be having trouble in controlling her laughter.

I enquired again, at which point she said ''Oh, o.k., I have just been upstairs sorting out clothes and I came across a sixties dress which was very fashionable at the time in that it had strategically positioned holes cut in it, (it was very chic at the time), well, I decided to try this dress on. I squeezed into it much to my surprise but then discovered that things projected from holes that never did back then. I am still in hysterics every time I remember what I've just seen in the mirror. Talk about swinging sixties.''

We both stood and had a good laugh (before grabbing our zimmer frames and heading towards the toilet) You have to be so careful these days having a good laugh.

Our bodies are a bit like bird migration in spring, Everything heads South.

Roger

Hi Mary,

I lost at least 5 years I laughed so much!  This is my kind of forum........


Thank you,

Donna