Hello Ivan
That is one of the most profound, heartfelt and beautiful posts I have read on the topic of true love ... I agree with you totally that unless someone loves themselves, they will find it very hard to love someone else ... whether it be in friendship or a one on one relationship.
To be able to give love and receive it, one has to recognise, first, what it is.
I, also, agree with the very phyolosophical view of soulmates ... I am a great believer that a soul mate is the spiritual entity we have journeyed with throughout the centuries, throughout previous lives ... since the beginning of, what you refer to as, the Soulic Realm and never ending ... I believe that these souls have shared similar experiences, throughout the various lifetimes, which makes them vibrate at the same frequency, in parallel ... which is why they will always find each other in nearly every lifetime ... despite distances and other obstacles that may arise in the physical realm.
It's only my opinion but I believe that it's only when we cease, as humans, to listen to the higher vibrational frequencies, of our spirituality, that we lose the signal and have no way of finding our soulmate ... because we do not hear their cry to us ....
Another fantastic point you make is about Karmic resolution ... you are SO right ... with every lifetime the soul has to learn and make up for something that is lacking.... to make right a wrong ... and this resolution always involves others ... which as you mentioned... could be mistaken for love ...
Nobody meets by chance ... nothing ever happens by chance ... some people are sent to us when we need comfort the most and some people are sent to us when they need help and comfort from us the most ... It is only he/she who has been through, what I refer to as the, "spiritual re-awakening" that can recognise the difference ... and even then ... the wants and needs of the human can still confuse the heart into thinking it may be love ...
Ultimately, the only confusion that cannot occur ... when we sit in silence and listen ... is that of our soul ... the higher all knowing ... eternal as time itself ... and sometimes it takes a shock to the human system for the soul to stand up and pay attention ... and that's when the alarm bells start ringing inside.
Take care my friend and your deep post was very very appreciated and very welcome ... I hope you will offer some input into my next thread ... which I feel you will enjoy ...
Have a lovely week, Namaste
Venerina