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Johnathon,,,, I can remember sleepless nights and wakeing up to a mmigrane that made me hurt to set up. The stress well lets go back//// i had a home and family i was going where i wanted in life. House ,wife, four kids, then not even a year into the house. the wife pulled a (boyfriend) out of the hat,. i lost my dream of how i wished to carry out my life, granted she did this twice before but i kept trying to keep things together. her passed from (childhood) had alot to do with her as a mother and other half. Anyhow the worrys' ,the stress, the aggravation, everything effects the mind which effects the body.. I had No where else to turn but family. i felt as you do now.. I thought as you are thinking now, I'll tell you this now and (everyone) reading, I could not (mentally) deal with the vast change in my life at the moment. haveing everything taken, dreams ,hopes, security, motavation, everything I set out to achieve taken in a day notice. I went to the hospital and willingly commited myself on the bases of (fear of hurting myself or others). i learned that the mental ability to coup with vast change is called just that.. i learned Cognitive thinking.. Changeing the words you use can change how you think thus changeing how you feel.. use words like (I like to do) (I would rather) (I can) (I want to) Instead of need , must , have to, got to, Those words allone bring pressure--- Stop useing them..i then went on a trip for a week stayed with family away from everthing and before doing this i told everyone not to tell the X where i was . With no contact from the cituation I could start thinking things out at the same time work on the farm (keeping busy) is good mental excersize.. I even went to an aunts and offered my help at her diner.. i walked away and restarted a new life, My family helped alot reassurence of the saying it gets better.. I'm still a father and active with my children. i have found a better job, a more loveing woman and three more children.. John, It does get better.. Open up to your family assumeing their near. if not go to them.. I'll tell ya this my family is closer then it was before my (detour).. learn what I did (How to think healthy) and eat man..... If the house is more then a burden and half your problems get rid of it- if money is , then use the house and land to get rid of money problems. START OVER-- Think about it... It does help..
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