Hello everyone, I was just going through my ezine archives and found this article I wrote in 2002. I hope you enjoy it and really think about it! Winning Isn't Everything by - Dave Cottrell "Winning isn't everything. It's how you play the game that counts." This is such an old cliche that most people tune out when they hear it.... But it is true. Go to any sales training seminar these days, and you will hear over and over again that you have to set goals; that you have to have a winning attitude. You hear that winning is everything. You need to concentrate completely on reaching your goal. Nothing can be allowed to get in the way: Not family. Not friends. Not sleep. Not recreation. Not health.... Give me a break! If you give up all these to reach your goal, ie, to win, you won't have much when you get there! Winning is a moment in time, a point on the road of your life. It is one-dimensional. In other words, it has no measurable substance. Winning exists for a split second, and then it is gone. It's over. If you base your happiness in life on winning, you will have a very unhappy life. The other day, I was taking a break on the deck with my youngest son, enjoying a beautiful, balmy day, while watching the birds coming to the bird feeders in our back yard. I was amazed at the variety of birds visiting our home. I could have been working on this ezine, or submitting ads, or wading through my email, or helping my associates... but I was sitting in the sun enjoying the little things in life, like the birds and the warmth, and my son's company. It was wonderful. Life is full of opportunities to relax and enjoy little things. However, our industry teaches us to block out the little things so that we can concentrate on reaching our goals - on winning. What that means is that we are spending all of our time so that we can enjoy a very brief, infinitely fleeting moment: the tiny flash in the space- time continuum when we reach our goal. Winning is what happens when you reach the end of the game. It is what happens when the ribbon breaks at the finish line. It is the moment the horn blows and the stands start to empty. Everything is over. Don't get me wrong! I'm not against winning. In fact, I really enjoy winning. I like that all too brief feeling of elation when I've reached my goal - when I've won the game. But it is the GAME I enjoy. I play the game with winning in mind, but I play the game for the FUN of it. Most of my time involves playing the game - not winning it. That comes at the end. I'm going to enjoy playing the game. I'm going to enjoy everything that comes along with the game: My family. My friends. My sleep. My recreation. My health. The little moments spent on the deck with my wife and kids... The other day, I took a break with my son. I relaxed in the sun. I was amazed by the variety of birds that live in this area. I was amazed by how much my eleven-year-old son knows about birds! Finally, during that very enjoyable break, a new article for my ezine took shape in my head... and I wasn't even working on my ezine! I could have spent that time working on my ezine, but I probably would not have written this article. Instead, I would have used someone else's article - perhaps one that you have already read somewhere else. Life is too short and friends are too few to spend it for that dot on the time-line called winning. Cherish every moment you have. Pay attention to your family and friends. Read more of your email. Go for a walk. Lie in the sun. Sleep!!! To play the game properly, you need to have a goal in mind, but the real enjoyment comes from playing the game. That is how MOST of your life is spent. Winning is great, but you cannot hold onto that moment when you win. If you want to really enjoy your life (you only have one!), you need to enjoy the time in between setting a goal and reaching it. You will have a far better life AND you will be far more likely to reach your goal. You will be healthier, happier, and a REAL winner. Have a GREAT life! © David (Dave) Cottrell God bless, Dave

Thanks for the reminder Dave. I am up much later than normal and will now get My Sleep.

Hi Dave, That was a very thoughtful article. You are advocating the "smelling of the roses." Some people are so competitive that it makes you sick. They have to win at ANY cost. In the end, in my opinion, they are the big losers in life. You see, no matter how good you are at ANYTHING somebody will come along to take your crown. Just look at the Wimbledon champions. At the moment Roger Federer is virtually unbeatable but there is already somebody developing into the next champion. It is inevitable. I have a personal example to add to those that you gave... When my kids were young we used to play all sorts of games (sometimes we still do). I would often let them beat me. The joy that came from their souls gave me joy too. Of course, I would always try to get them to strive harder to beat me so I never let them have a "walkover." That would achieve nothing. However, giving them a good contest along the way was winning enough for me. The only person that I consistently want to beat is myself. That's called improvement. Thanks for the topic Dave. Best Wishes Gary Simpson.

Dear Dave, Great article. Again, I agree. I'm agreeing with you a lot lately, as a matter of fact. Thank You,

Thank you Dave for this touching and true reality of life. I have just been reminded of this last night. I spend too much time on the computer and not enough time with my family. So many projects going on. I guess I need to cut back or organize my time better. Great Forums here. Warmest Regards,