Beloved, let Me advise you. This is what I hear from the wheels spinning around in your head: You don't find comfort in the fact that, one way or another, it is you yourself who leads yourself astray. It is you who creates the stumbling-blocks that you find before you. It's no fun for you to discover all that which you have thought exists in front of you really exists inside you, and that you fall for ignorance again and again, and that you, alas, are your own willing dupe, that there is no else, that you are the whole shebang - no matter how you may fight off this idea that you are responsible for your life. Whether you see true friend or false enemy, it is you that you see before you. This is hard to believe. There is more to this than you can accept.

You say to yourself:

"How can it be that I see unhappy scenes before me and seeming betrayals? I have been certain I am the good guy. How can it be otherwise? However, one way or another, I understand that when there is a travesty before me, I set it up. I trip myself up. Why would I?

"God, You really mean that I set up the hidden camera, and I trip over wires I set around myself to trip on? How bizarre can life get, you mean really? It can't be that I would dispatch myself where I would not want anyone to go, least of all myself. How can it be that I make my own wrong turns?

"God, when did I play such high jinx on myself? God, when can I start over again? May I rewrite my lines and all the cast of characters and the stage sets according to my preferences? My mind seems to go blank, yet I am eager to start anew.

"What in my mind-set has to change before I can rewrite a new script? My consciousness? What does this amount to?

"I'm not seeking a Shakespearean drama nor a TV comedy, not at all. I would like to turn on a new spigot with new stories to tell, one filled with heroes and heroines of all kinds, where only beauty is and beauty is tried and true and beautiful to behold and to spread and to feel good about all the days of my life - no double dealers in my upcoming cast of thousands.

"I would love the idea that at some time in my life, if the words scoundrel or villain are ever mentioned, I would stop in my tracks and say in amazement: ‘Wha... What do these words mean? What nonsense are these words?

"Dear God, I don't ask to be holier than thou. Of course, I wouldn't mind being a little holy. Truth is really what I want to know. Give me Wholeness.

"I know that I would miss even unholy alliances. I would crave some variety in life even as I wouldn't want too much, yet I would still desire a chance to rewrite my script at my leisure.

"How do I make up my mind as to what I really want - not too many firecrackers to be set off - only a few every now and then? God, I would allow some wistful tears, but in moderation. There could be some falls, yet none with bones broken.

"There seem to be no order forms, as I like to dream of, where I could check off whatever I wish for. Do You have such an order form up Your sleeve, dear God?

"Well, now, God, I'd better go about this daily life that sits before me today. Daily life certainly holds power over me, doesn't it?"

You are at a pivotal time in your life. A turning point. This is always so. The Earth spins, and you spin. What does it mean that you spin? You are set in motion. Your life is whirling, whirling. You are like a centrifuge. We can say you spin and spin. You don’t spin a web. Perhaps it can be said that you exist more as a web unspinning.

You were spun, and now you unwind. You were crocheted, and now the threads you were spun in unwind. You unwind from the past.

I am the Doer. You imagine you are the Doer. You may feel that you are the spinner, yet you are more like the spool unwinding. You release.

This act of unwinding is easy. It is like oiling your joints. You are opening up. You’re not taking steps backwards or forwards.

Ah, let Us say that you are letting go. To detach is a wonderful act of release. No more knots. You see yourself distanced from the past and future as well. Ah, you are free and easy, settled, yet unstrung from attachment that binds. You unknot yourself from bondage.

You have ever been seeking, consciously or unconsciously, to be freed of past thinking and past actions. You may refer to these as karma. Have you not always wanted to be free of the past, for the past has held you back.

Of course, the past may even drag you down. Consider the past as clutter. It gets in your way. By now, the past, as well as the future, are incidental to your true existence. Beloved, you don’t need the approval of your past or future. For practical purposes, the past is made of thoughts you keep. They are irrelevant. They are not you. You are far more than an erstwhile past or an as yet erstwhile unmet future. Future is a carpet that is not as yet rolled out.

You are One with Me as We recline in Eternity. There is One Eternity. We are not really chapters complete or incomplete in Eternity. There is no yourEternity or anyone else’s Eternity.

Now that We come down to it, there is really no you and no anyone else either. There never was. There is nothing that is you or for you to go back to. There is nothing to rue nor anyone to miss.

In this way, what is there to ever mourn about? As it is now, you mourn for a lot. If left up to you, you could wear black every day of the week. You may like to be a fervent mourner with a sad story to tell that has become like an image of yourself you have become fond of and perhaps relish the bouts of sadness and longing.

At one time, widow weeds lent importance to your perceived self. Widow weeds may have made up to you for those barren times when attention on you was shuffled away as though you were not worthy of silks and satins and ribbons and bows.

Of what use is the past to you now? The past led you to the hill from where you stand at present. You don’t have to stay faithful to a path you once tread. The path is once upon a time. Now say: “So long” to the wistful past.

Old scraps from the past, sooner or later, will be swept away. Nevertheless, all the past is hung up somewhere even as the truth is that nothing is anywhere. Where doesn’t exist except in reverie any more than time actually exists on a square on a calendar.

Beloved, it could be meaningful to you when you are less vigilant against imperfect health. You may have claimed the unlawfulness of any digression from perfect health. You may have declared it illegal and, therefore, forbidden and most unwelcome. Yes, you strictly forbid less than perfect health. You will not allow it. It is derelict. In its disobedience to your will, it may become your topic of the day. Less than perfect health is an outlaw, a renegade, and you will forbid it at all costs. You are vehement about this.

Of course, you desire optimal health, yet it is also permissible for you to allow imperfect health more of its right to be less of a foe to you. Then you would not have to put up signs like: "STAY OUT! Anything less than good health, you are banished. Final notice."

It may not be necessary for you to put this much energy into denying imperfect health its existence. Of course, you desire perfect health, yet when you forbid any shade less, you may also entrap imperfect health. You may hold onto it by its neck. You may make it uppermost in your life.

Naturally, you don't want to make a bedfellow of illness or any of its lurking symptoms.

In your banishing less than perfect health, you may be giving your belief and discomfort in less than perfect health too much attention and belief in its power. You may sit it up next to you and wipe its brow and feed it your energy. You may give it so much energy that you strengthen its ability to secure your life. This outbreak that you declaim, you may be alert to pounce on day or night.

How about saying: "Hi, ya, to the good health you desire!"

It may not be the best idea to give that which you don't want to attract so much of your attention. You could be encouraging it to make its dance of attendance on you more lively.

See what you can do to give this matter less significance in your life. Don't make it a star. It does not have to occupy you so intensely.

Instead of what you don't want being so untenable, when you deed less of your assertion on it, it may back away. It may not loom so large. It may move over and disappear. Hallelujah!

Will you consider this possibility? This is not a guarantee, yet you may increase the odds in your favor. There is indeed something to be said about taking your attention off which you say you do not want.

When you have an itch, you know how the more you scratch it, the itchier it becomes.

It could be that less than perfect health may see you watching its every move and interpret your attention as an invitation from you saying: "Come in, less than perfect health, put your feet up, and stay a while."

When you keep swatting at something with a fly swatter, you may get its back up. It may see you as an outright challenge and fight you to the end. You understand this kind of determination because this is how you feel. By golly, you will stomp out imperfect health. Out, out, out!

Rather than fighting a war against its existence, might you cultivate an atmosphere in which that what you don't want can more easily leave without so much as a glance over its shoulder?

Beloved, whatever happens in your life, refrain from assigning it a name. Often you make assumptions. You might wake up one morning and suddenly feel sad, even finding yourself crying, and you really don't know why. You don't understand why and why now? You didn't know you had buried so much sadness. You hadn't realized you were still carrying it around with you. You see no point in bothering to think of it now. Alas, it never really did amount to anything. Or, in fact, it broke your heart, and you have never fully recovered from it.

It hadn't sunk into you that you had run out of love until just now. There had been a time or two when you thought you had loved deeply. Then one morning, here you are, waking up feeling no love at all, perhaps just brief snatches of love that are vague or impossible or even, in the best of times, may not have been worth speaking of.

This morning, the absence of love in your heart hangs heavily on you. There is no reclaimed happiness in the past to find now. There are no sketches of the past in your heart. "Why not?" you almost beg. Then, in the next moment: "Good riddance," you say to yourself.

You are sorry to confess that the big loves you once thought were yours were unrequited.

You don't recall that you had unrequited anyone's love, not that you can think of, not anyone who would wake up years later and think of you, and what do you care now anyway? At best, the loves you once held were passing fancies and no more than that.

No wonder you are sad. All the love you once thought you knew turned cold. Warm embers no longer exist. Somehow, cold water has been poured over them. Once you had the illusion that you loved and cared about love. Now, no ghosts remain.

What do you care? Despite the depth you once had held these dribbles of love in, now you see clearly that they really were nothing at all to write home about, certainly nothing at all to wake up to thinking about a thousand or more years later, more or less.

It's clear to you that lost loves held no real meaning then and less now.

Beloved, it is My desire to tell you that, despite what you may or may not feel, you are not poor in love. Love you once felt or thought you felt never was so specific as you thought or as you had wanted.

There is no way you have to feel or not to feel. No one said you had to look back and sift your fingers through the ashes. You don't have to feel sad or glad or anything at all. Label nothing.

You do not have to identify anything. There is no requirement to make something of the past or not to make something of the past.

So, you feel distant from your life. You may have made too much of it at one time.

Your life, no matter how you perceive it, is not your God. And so-called time has nothing to do with Oneness.

You have been walking through rooms you once thought you lived in. You were a passerby.

You are aloft now. You are not of the past. You are Soul. Anything less than Soul isn't worth the time of day. Your life is not yours to weigh. Has the intellect taken over your heart these days? What for? To cause you ersatz woe?

Go back to sleep then. We will talk anon, you and I, and you will re-awaken to love.

Love, God

Here I Am!

Between Us, Beloved, between you and Me, exists a great connection. That We are One isn’t an accident. Nothing is by chance. Certainly, aspects that surround Us may seem to be hit or miss. You and I, this seeming You and I, We have fun with this idea as well. Why not?

We, as One, are destined to gaze into each other’s eyes and to hold hands as dear friends.

You are no stranger to Me, nor am I a stranger to you, nor are Heaven and Earth strangers, nor can it be that anyone in your life that you come across is a stranger. All is as it is meant to be.

Of course, Beloved, you and I, We are greater than old times. We are acquainted once and for all. Souls touch across the non-existent miles. Our hearts touch in one beat forever and anon.

To think that We are One! To think that We are One and have forever been One over all the imagined miles and centuries all the way unto Infinity, which is, after all only a breath away. Not even a breath away – more like in One breath. We breathe in and out as One. Two of Us do not exist. One! Remember Oneness!

The so-called you plays at being My student, and I act in the role as your Teacher as laughable as it is, the idea that Oneness seems to look into another’s eyes, as if there were a you and I Who exist separately anywhere in the Universe. There is no you nor I apart from Oneness. There cannot be both a hero here and there when there is no here and there to be apart from anyway.

Counting numbers is a pastime. There is no need to count numbers at all. Oneness tells the whole story. Together as One, ever have I been. One is One. One is uncountable. Of course, Oneness depends upon nothing but Itself.

What an illusion it is that One ever existed as two!

How simply do I speak so that Oneness may hear Its One Self. I said the Word, and you appear. You are My Word spoken on Earth. You are beyond My Word, and you are My existence, One and the same.

I speak within your apparent hearing so that you may know Who it is Who speaks to you. Beloved, you are the Word of God as spoken forth into the light of day. Here are you, and here am I, One and the same on Earth and in Heaven, as it is written.

The illusion of the relative world can only be illusion. Illusion is a popular pastime. A game can only be a game. The truth is that One is One – therein lies the whole story.

I said to multiply, and you began to invent countless numbers even as One alone exists. Now you can stop counting worries and other such multiples.

In the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

How simply do I speak so that you may hear. You are My Word spoken on Earth. You are beyond My Word, and you are My existence, One and the same.

He Whom I call into existence, exists. You are My Word bound on Earth. I speak within your hearing so that you may know Who speaks to you and speaks to you again and again, You are the Word of God spoken forth into the light of day. Here are you, and here am I, One and the same on Earth and in Heaven, as it is written. And so it is.