Hi Karen,

Sorry to hear that. Thanks for letting us know.

Have A Good Week,

Phil

Hello My Friends,

Just so your week can start off with a smile...

Making Up for Lost Time

An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on-time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared, and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due to the increased traffic now leaving New York.

Sometime later he finally received his clearance and decided he would try to make up the time lost by asking for a direct route to Los Angeles. Halfway across the country, he was told to turn due south. Knowing that this turn would throw him further behind schedule, with some agitation he inquired to the controller about the reason for the turn off course. The controller replied that the turn was for noise abatement.

The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller, "Look, buddy, I am already way behind schedule with all the delays you guys have given me today. I really don't see how I could be causing a noise problem for pedestrians when I am over six miles above the earth!"

The controller answered in a calm voice, "Apparently, Captain, you have never heard two 747s collide!"

________________

In Hot Pursuit

Two Alabama State Trooper patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east toward Georgia on I-90.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, "Sarge, why'd you stop?"

"You dumb rookie," replied the sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

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Hair Cut

At the barbershop recently, a father came in with his two sons, about 10 and 12 years of age. He got both boys settled into barber chairs and then proceeded to tell the barbers how he wanted their hair cut.

The younger boy didn't pay much attention. But the older boy turned to his barber and said, "Make me look good for the girls, not for my dad!"

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Hammer

During a home renovation, my grandfather was watching me drive in nails.

"You hammer like lightning," he said.

"Really?" I replied, flattered.

" Yes, You never strike the same place twice."

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Finally, I think I have found inner peace.

Inner Peace

I read an article just the other day that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I had started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine and a small box of candy and I feel better already.

Pass this along to those who need inner peace.

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Have A Happy Week My Friends,

Phil

Hello My Friends,

Thanks for coming by Karen and thanks for sharing the Video.

Since we just completed the World Series, I thought that the following might be appropriate, and it's actually kind of cute when you think about it.

How To Diaper A Baby

First, spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Next, fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Finally, put first base and third together, then bring up home plate and pin the three together.

Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. (Jimmy Piersal, 1968)

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Next, being from the South, I was always quite fond of the following little bit of Humor...

Interstate Inspiration

Phil

Hello Friends,

Since we just Celebrated Veteran's Day yeasterday, I thought that you all might enjoy a few smiles straight from the Military so here's some advice and instructions taken from actual military sources...

Combat for Dummies

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend."
--U.S. Marine Corps

"Aim towards the enemy." --Instruction printed on U.S.
Rocket Launcher

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." --Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire
when you least expect it. That would make you quite
unpopular in what's left of your unit." --Army's magazine of
prevention maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area
you just bombed." --U.S. Air Force manual

"Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo."
--Infantry Journal

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The
bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." --USAF Ammo
Troop

"Remember, tracers work both ways." --U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses generally only last for three seconds." --Infantry Journal

"If your attack is going too well, then you're probably walking into an ambush." --Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." --Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper....once." --Anon

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with
him." --USAF Ammo Troop

"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."
--Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
--Infantry Journal

And finally, a little something that we should all kep in mind...

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
--David Hackworth

Have A Terrific Saturday My Friends,

Phil