Hello Everyone, Thanks for all of the Cute Videos. Let's have a few laughs here on a Sunday Evening, to make sure the week starts off with a Smile.
Hearing Aid
A man is bragging about his new hearing aid. "It's the best I've ever had," he says. "It cost $3,000."
His friend asks, "What kind is it?"
He says, "Half past four!"
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Last Wishes
A woman was talking to her friends about her husband who had passed away.
When her husband was on his death bed, and he told her that he had three envelopes in his desk drawer that would "take care" of all of the arrangements. Well, he died shortly thereafter, so the wife opened the drawer and there were 3 envelopes just like he said.
One the first envelope it said "for the casket." There was $5,000.00 in the envelope, so she bought him a very nice casket.
The second envelope said "for the expenses" and had $4,000.00 in it so she paid all the bills from the funeral.
The third envelope said "for the stone" and had $3,000.00 in it.
She then held her hand out to her friends and said, "Isn't it Beautiful!!!"
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Fast Food
My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milkshake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.
The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline.
As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."
"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."
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Life's A Mess
A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, "My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I'm nervous as a cat."
"Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?" asked the collie.
"I can't," replied the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."
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Laundry
A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nicec clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"
The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
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And finally, my favorite Groaner of the Week...
Did you hear that someone broke into our local police station and stole the toilet
Right now the cops have nothing to go on.
Also, always remember my friends...
"A good flush beats a full house every time."
Have A Happy Week My Friends,
Phil