Hello Friends,

Sorry that I've been away for so long. As most of you know, I used to prepare Income Tax Returns for a living, so even though I am no longer actively involved, I can't let today go by without sharing a joke or two.

So here's a few of my favorites...

We Deliver

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

"Why don’t you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"

"It’s not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It’s these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."

"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to tell you - we also deliver."

Tax Deductible

Rabbi Rabinovitz answers his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Rabbi Rabinovitz?"

"It is."

"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"

"I’ll try."

"Do you know Sam Cohen?"

"I do."

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is."

"Did he donate $25,000 to the synagogue rebuilding fund last year?"

"He will!"

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Second Notice

A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.

"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don’t send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."

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And finally, one that's always been an all-time favorite...

Swallowing a Coin

The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in the street yelling for help. A man passing by took the boy by his shoulders and hit him with a
few strong strokes on the back, and he coughed the coin out.

"I don't know how to thank you, doctor," his mother started.

"Oh, I'm not a doctor," the man replied. "I'm from the IRS."

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Have A Wonderful Week,

Phil