Hi Gaby,
Thanks so much for the Cookie Tips. I do love Cookies and I also love to laugh, as you know, so that post was Just Perfect!
Speaking of Cookies, I've shared some of my favorite recipes Here if anyone is interested.
Now for a few more Chuckles...
Changing Times
I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years:
"When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."
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Absent-Minded Professor
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."
When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it."
"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it. Otherwise, I won't know where to get off."
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Circle Flies
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well, yeah, if that's what they are called -- I never heard of circle flies."
So the farmer said, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper said, "Oh," and went back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stopped and said, "Hey, wait a minute -- are you trying to call me a horse's rear end?"
The farmer said, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement to even think about calling you such a name."
The trooper said, "Well, that's a good thing," and went back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer said, "Hard to fool them flies, though."
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Finally, some of my favorite Southern-isms...
Southern Sayings
He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.
It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
He's as country as cornflakes.
This is gooder'n grits.
If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
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Have A Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year,
Phil