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Gabrielle 833 4356 Sacram...	RE: Go Ahead! Laugh! You Know You Want To!. 12/3/2010 7:55:50 AM
	Hello friends, may I contributed a little bit of funnies too?...... One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! ' And they say blondes are dumb.... ---------------------------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you.........' ---------------------------- 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. ------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ------------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN -------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. -------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy.. --------------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ------------------------------------------ Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.. ------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals' ------------------------------------------------- God Bless you All....
	God Bless Everyone
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Gabrielle 833 4356 Sacram...	RE: Go Ahead! Laugh! You Know You Want To!. 12/3/2010 7:57:55 AM
	Sorry for using all that space, I couldn't figure out how to suppress all the line spaces.
	God Bless Everyone
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Phillip 7317 5931 Thomas...	RE: Go Ahead! Laugh! You Know You Want To!. 12/3/2010 9:28:05 PM
	Hello My Friends, Yes, Mary Evelyn, I'm afraid that we've all known a few like that in our lifetimes. But isn't it Wonderful that God still loves us, no matter how Smart or how Good Looking we are? Hi Gaby, it's so good to see you here at the Forum, you've been away far too long. Thanks for the Funnies, and don't worry about the Space. Sometimes I can get the Editor to work and sometimes I can't. I don't worry too much about it, as long as my Friends keep coming by and they're still Smiling. Here's a few more that I hope you'll get a Chuckle or two out of... A Bad Tooth A man and his wife entered the dentist's office. "I want a toothpulled, "the man said. "We are in a big hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain or any of that stuff." "You are a very brave man," remarked the dentist. "Which tooth is it?" "Show him your bad tooth, honey," said the man to his wife. _______________ Damaging Food A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake." _______________ Wedding Registry Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course." Jacob: "Medicine for memory?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts." _______________ The Next One After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked at his wife. "I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby." _______________ A Speaking Part John's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. John enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part." _______________ Organic Vegetables My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself." _______________ Have A Good One! Phil
	“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Go Ahead! Laugh! You Know You Want To!. 12/4/2010 1:54:35 PM
	Hi Phil, I see two of my favorite friends have been sharing their humor with you. Great to see them here. This an oldie and might not be a joke but it does bring back fond memories. Shalom, Peter A TEST FOR 'OLD KIDS' I was picky who I sent this to. It had to be those who might actually remember. So have some fun my sharp-witted friends. This is a test for us 'old kids'! The answers are printed below, but don't cheat. 01.After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would always ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave behind?________________. 02.When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The_______________ Show. 03'Get your kicks, __________________.' 04.'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.' 05.'In the jungle, the mighty jungle,________________.' 06.After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.' 07.Nestle's makes the very best _______________.' 08.Satchmo was America's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________. 09.What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _____________. 10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named__________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________________.' 11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________. 12.The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by?____________ & _______________. 13.In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to ___________________. 14.We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________. 15.One of the big fads of the late 50's and early 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ______________. 16. When Jimmy Durante ended his TV show he always signed off the same way, 'Goodnight ____________, wherever you are.' Who did he wish goodnight to? ________________. ANSWERS: 01. A Silver Bullet 02.The Ed Sullivan Show 03.On Route 66 04.To protect the innocent 05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight 06.The limbo 07.Chocolate 08.Louis Armstrong 09.A Timex watch 10.Freddy The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.' 11.Draft cards (Bras were also burned. But not flags, as some have mistakenly guessed) 12.Beetle or Bug 13.Buddy Holly 14.Sputnik 15.Hula-hoop 16.Mrs. Calabash Send this to your 'old' friends, (better known as 'Seniors.') It will drive them crazy! And keep them busy and out of trouble for a few minutes.
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Go Ahead! Laugh! You Know You Want To!. 12/4/2010 2:22:05 PM
	Hi Phil, Here's another one I found that's "suitable" for your thread. :) Shalom, Peter Wisdom From Grandma - - It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial rates And blamed it on the cost of living. Remember, If you haven't got a smile on your face And laughter in your heart, Then you are just a sour old fart!
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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