Hi Mary Evelyn,
I know what you mean my Friend. Lots of things were kinder and gentler back years ago. Even Adland. I can still remember how it was in 2005 when I first joined. Oh well, things change.
Talking about leaving your doors and windows open, there's a cute story about that. I grew up in a 12-room Stucco house, and the Stucco was painted Pink. As you all know, I used to drink, quite a bit, in fact. Momma said that she had the house painted Pink, so that I would know exactly where I would be sleeping on the Porch if I ever came home Drunk. Needless to say, I saw my fair share of "Porch" time. Never was bothered and slept like a baby. Like we said, a "different" time.
Here's a few more Chuckles that I hope you'll like...
Midterm Exam
The professor of a graduate-school class included a huge amount of material on the midterm exam. As tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud.
The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years!'"
_______________
Dumped
A man just got dumped by his girlfriend.
He was telling several friends about how it happened and said, "When I was talking to her on the phone, she told me something about meeting a man in Germany. This man owns a sheep farm and is very, very rich."
Then one of the friends asked, "You mean she dumped you for a German shepherd?"
_______________
Job Application
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote,
"No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
_______________
10 Stupidest Inventions
10. Black Highlighter
9. Braille Driver's Manual
8. Clear Correction Fluid
7. Fake Rhinestones
6. Inflatable Dart Board
5. Mesh Umbrella
4. Motorcycle Air Conditioner
3. Sugar-Coated Toothpaste
2. Super-glue Post-it Notes
AND THE NUMBER ONE STUPID INVENTION?
1. The system that allows you to report power failures via the Internet
_______________
The Only Stupid Question
The only stupid question is the one that is never asked.
Except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"
_______________
Favorite Dumb Answers on Family Feud
ACTUAL answers given by contestants on "The Family Feud":
Name something a blind person might use - A sword
Name a song with moon in the title - Blue suede moon
Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell
Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar
Name a famous brother & sister - Bonnie & Clyde
Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - A horse
Name something that floats in the bath - Water
Name something you wear on the beach - A deck chair
Name something Red - My cardigan
Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers
A number you have to memorize - 7
Something you do before going to bed - Sleep
Something you put on walls - Roofs
Something in the garden that's green - Shed
Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings
Something you might be allergic to - Skiing
Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters
Something a cat does - Goes to the toilet
Something you do in the bathroom - Decorate
Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog
A sign of the zodiac - April
Something slippery - A con man
A food that can be brown or white - Potato
Something with a hole in it - Window
A non-living object with legs - Plant
A domestic animal - Leopard
A part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee
_____________
Have A Happy Week My Friend,
Phil