Hello My Friends,
Ever Notice Funny Signs at the places you visit?
Auto Repairs, Body Shops, Etc.
Outside a muffler shop:"No appointment necessary.We hear you coming."
At An Auto Body Shop:"May we have the next dents?"
Sign in 'George's Service Station'Glen Ellen, CA:If your car sounds like: "ping-click-ping" - $10.00"click-whine-click" - $25.00"clunk-whine-clunk" - $50.00"thud-clunk-thud" - $100.00"clang-thudc-clang" - $300.00"Can't describe it" - $500.00
At An Auto Repair Service Station: Free pick-up and delivery.Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
At A Tire Shop In Milwaukee:"Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing Company:"We don't want an arm and a leg.We want your tows."
Sign at a Chicago radiator shop:"Best place in town to take a leak."
Doctors & Hospitals
Over a gynecologist's office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a veterinarian's waiting room:"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Door of a plastic surgeon's office:"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
On a maternity room door:"Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office:"If you don't see what you're looking for,you've come to the right place."
Miscellaneous Signs
In A Safari Park:Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
Message On A Leaflet:If you cannot read,this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
At The Electric Company:"We would be delighted if you send in your bill.However, if you don't, you will be."
On A Scientist's Door:"Gone Fission"
On A Taxidermist's Window:"We really know our stuff."
Outside A Hotel:"Help! We need inn-experienced people."
At A Farmer's Field:"The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."
On A Billboard - Ad For A Safe Company:"If your stuff is stolen, it's not our vault."
Have A Happy Week,
Phil
Hi Alain,
Thanks for stopping by. Glad you got a laugh and a giggle or two. Life just seems to be better when we're smiling.
Here's just a couple more...
The War Is Over An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." "There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?" __________ Mahatma Gandhi: Mahatma Gandhi as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis __________ Have A Great Week, Phil
The War Is Over
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." "There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?"
__________
Mahatma Gandhi:
Mahatma Gandhi as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
Have A Great Week,
Thanks Phil and Alain for all the laughs. Phil you know I like Maxine! All of them are great - need some laughs everyday!
In continuing with your sign jokes, here are some I found:
Interesting.
Sara
Hi Sara,
Love the Signs! Thanks for the grins & Giggles.
Here's a few of my favorite Bumper Stickers...
Also, given all of the Computer problems lately, one of my favorite Maxines...
Have A Happy Monday My Friend,
