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Karen Gigikos

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RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
4/28/2010 7:34:23 PM
karen won third place for this fourm in Best Forum Award



CONGRATULATIONS KAREN!

I also won first place in the just perfect award.

karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
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RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
4/29/2010 7:29:23 PM

Karen, I posted congrats to you in the BFA forum but have not gotten over here until now.

CONGRATULATIONS!! On your win, you deserve it!

If you get bored, here is a place to visit: ENTERTAINMENT PAGES!

Love and Hugs,

Sara

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Karen Gigikos

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RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
5/3/2010 12:14:05 AM
PM







The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!
karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
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Karen Gigikos

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RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
5/8/2010 7:30:17 PM
from Art

These are pretty good

OLDER CROWD

A distraught senior citizen

phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know,

'that the medication

you prescribed has to be taken

for the rest of my life? '

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her .

There was a moment of silence

before the senior lady replied,

'I'm wondering, then,

just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS'.'

An older gentleman was

on the operating table

awaiting surgery

and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon,

perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,

he asked to speak to his son.

'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son; do your best

and just remember, if it doesn't go well,

if something happens to me,

your mother is going to come and

live with you and your wife.'

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point

when you stop lying about your age

and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things

seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people

try to turn back their odometers.

Not me!

I want people to know 'why' I look this way.

I've traveled a long way

and some of the roads weren't paved.

********************

When you are dissatisfied

and would like to go back to youth,

think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the many things

no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change

from being young..

Ah, being young is beautiful,

but being old is comfortable.

Long ago

when men cursed

and beat the ground with sticks,

it was called witchcraft...

Today, it's called golf.

Two old guys

are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart

when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,

and I guess I wasn't paying attention

to where I was going.'

The second old guy says,

'That's OK, it's a coincidence.

I'm looking for my wife, too.

I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'

The first old guy says, 'Well,

maybe I can help you find her.

What does she look like?'

' The second old guy says,

'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,

with red hair,

blue eyes,

long legs,

and is wearing short shorts.

What does your wife look like?'

To which the first old guy says,

'Doesn't matter, let's look for yours.'

Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder,

and, Your hand over my mouth.

karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
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Karen Gigikos

324
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RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
5/12/2010 1:17:23 AM
from art

Why Some Men Have Dogs,

And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but certainly not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.


Ultimate True Test: Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who's the happiest to see you.


karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
+0


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