|
Where have I been? I know I've been really busy these days but I can't believe I have missed this forum. I have skimmed through it and will read the whole thing a little later as I have got a migrane right now and, of course, a million interruptions. First of all I want to comment on what Lee Lu said at the beginning of the forum. My dear Lee, when you give of yourself no matter how, never expect anything back. If you get stepped on, so be it go on. Most of the time we never get anything back and do get stepped on. Many times that is just a part of giving. But don't let this stop you from giving.
Then Amelia, Bless your heart my dear. How I admire you. Amelia, you are a beacon of light for so many people, and yes, maybe your next stage in life is to help others. At age 32, I started having panic attacks. I went undiagnosed for two years and I can relate with your world crashing around you, dragging yourself to work, not being able to work and even being insane for a year because of it. I would average three full blown panic attacks a day, which would leave me without balance and weak, as if death itself was imminent. My recovery took eight years and I still describe it as a walking hell. I am functional now and do many things. I too, keep very busy. My love is people. In fact, if you go to my signature below in Luella's Corner, you can read about my love in life, where my heart is. My bus kids. I spend time with "inner city" children to let them know they can be anything they want to be and I've just started an assisted living ministry. So my escape is people. When stress hits, the anxiety and a little panic come back but I have learned to be possibly the best actress in the world. Yes, and during the darkest days, I even contemplated suicide. So very few people know what it is to have absolutely no hope. But a soft tiny voice way deep inside kept telling me to just hang on. My experience changed me to become a better person. To merely survive I needed to learn how to think and react differently to every situation in life. I had to say goodbye to past hurts and look to the future. Before the illness I don't believe I would ever have been outgoing enough to reach to people that needed love mostly. The bus kids and elderly that I work with need love most of all.
You my dear Amelia, I can see, have this love to give. It radiates through your story. Although you have had your setbacks, you have triumphed through every one of them and I can see that you will triumph through this one. I don't come across too many people these days that are self taught in anything, or that even have the initiative to do something positive for themselves. To be able to master the workings of internet marketing and a home business is absolutely remarkable. I am a newbie at this, figuring everything out, and it is a lot of hard work. It is definitely not at all easy.
Amelia, I do believe in God and I do believe in miracles. For anyone. Where there is breath there is hope. Your mother's saying is so very true. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring. During my illness I clung to God and begged for help, and I do believe he has brought me to where I am today. God is all I had during those days. Nobody else cared and my friends shunned me. I found out who my real friends were, and that was maybe one halfhearted one.
You have touched my heart, my friend and I can see where your post will help people, as they will be guided here to read it. There are no accidents.
I welcome you to message me should you need to talk, vent, whatever. It has been a privilege reading your story and seeing your courage and stamina despite everything.
You are an inspiration my friend, and I wish you the very best.
|