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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/21/2010 9:16:09 AM
Hi All,

I got this from a good friend today and thought you'd appreciate it.

Shalom,

Peter


Peter Fogel
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Helen Elias

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/21/2010 11:20:54 AM

I loved the Rula Zaki video!

Spend $4 and get back $10 every time you spend. Contact me (Helen) at this email »»» zhebee@yahoo.com
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/21/2010 11:41:12 AM
Stay

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the
local shopping center and rolled
Down the car windows to make sure my
Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat
and I wanted to impress upon her that she must
remain there.

I walked to the curb backward,
pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"

"Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady,
gave me a strange look and said,


"Why don't you just put it in Park?"
:):)
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Peter Fogel

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7259 Posts
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/21/2010 3:21:03 PM
Hi All,

Here's something we're all guilty of from time to time. A lesson learned.

Shalom,

Peter

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Oncein the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valleyand make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on thehillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're
NOT my flight instructor?'


Peter Fogel
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Phillip Black

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/21/2010 5:35:20 PM

Hi Peter,

I'm afraid I must admit, back in my drinking days I wasn't too discriminating, 'specially 'round closing time.

It's kinda like the old joke...

What's the difference between a Dog & a Fox?

Oh, I reckon just about eight beers.

Speaking of Beer, here's a few quotes you might not have heard...

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella

Abstainer a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. --Ambrose Bierce


I never drink anything stronger than gin - before breakfast
.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? --W.C. Fields

Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill. His reply -- Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. --Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. --Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?


It's better to have a beer in hand than gas in tank.

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore.

Beer - Nature's Diuretic.

Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!

One more drink and I'd be under the host. --Dorothy Parker


When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. --Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with Pizza
--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.

Draft beer, not people!

Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat. --David Geary

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. --David Moulton

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. --Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." --Frank Sinatra

"When we drink, we get drunk When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" --Brian O'Rourke

"To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!" --Dave Howell

It seems that even Men of the Cloth get a bit thirsty now & then...

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are walking down the street on a hot day and are quite thirsty. They pass a busy bar and want to go in and get a drink but have no money. But the priest comes up with an idea that he thinks might work, so he goes in alone, telling to others that if his idea works they can all get free drinks. He orders his drink, and when he'sfinished with it, the bartender gives him his tab.

The priest says, "But son,... I already paid for the drink!"

The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry father but it's really busy in here and I must have forgotten."

The priest goes out and tells the pastor and the rabbi what happened, so the pastor goes in next. The pastor orders his drink and then informs the bartender that he already had paid when the bartender asks him for the money. Again the bartender apologizes.

Finally the rabbi goes in and orders his drink. Again the bartender gives him the tab and the rabbi tells him, "Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink."

"I'm terribly sorry rabbi," says the bartender, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but your the third man of the cloth that I've done this to."

"I'm sorry son," says the rabbi, "but I'm in a terrible hurry,... Just give me my change for the $20 I gave you, and I'll be on my way!

So, in case it's not clear just yet, as anyone who's done a bit of drinking knows, and as our 'ole Buddy Mickey Gilley is right ready to point out...

Y'all Have A Good One Now Ya' Heer!

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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