Hi Peter & Everyone,

Seems like everyone here in the States is having a Cold Winter.

Hope You're Staying Warm

Just wanted to stop by with a Timely Cold Weather Tip...

Have A Great Evening,

Phil

Hello Friends,

Just a few more...

Liberal Democrat Jokes

Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Liberals.
Q: What is the Liberal doing when he has his hands tightly clasped over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out a light bulb.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What the difference between a Liberal and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.
Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.

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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

* Broiled Missionary: $10.00

* Fried Explorer: $15.00

* Grilled Republican: $100.00

* Baked Democrat: $250.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a price difference for the Politicians?” The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of crap it takes all morning.”

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Hi Friends,

Got time for a few Golf jokes?

Golf Injury

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me!", she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away an laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?"
To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Golf Pain

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Bad Day

A very bad golfer is playing at new course and he is having a very bad day.
He is on the 18th hole, and he see's a lake.
He says to his caddy "I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake".
The caddy says" I don't think you can, you can't keep your head down that long

Golf Sign

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Lady Luck

Lady Luck was seldom kind to Sam. Although Sam had a real zest for life he was constantly beset by bad luck.
He loved poker but poker did not love him; he played the stock market with great anticipation but always seemed to be the one who bought high and sold low.
His life seemed to be full of more downs than ups.
His greatest delight was his golf game. Not that Sam was a great golfer; in fact, he never managed to break 100, but the odd shot that somehow ended up in the general area he had in mind was enough to keep his hopes alive.
Finally Sam became ill and passed away. But just before he died, he asked that his remains be cremated and his ashes be scattered just off the fairway on the ninth hole of his home course.
Accordingly, a gathering assembled to carry out Sam's wishes. It was a bright sunny day and was going well. Then, as the ashes were being strewn .... a gust of wind came up and ... blew Sam out of bounds.

Hole In One

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