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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/22/2012 11:51:18 AM
Hi All,

Age has its positive points and smoe negative ones as well. This short story is an example of some of the negative aspects of age. :)

Shalom,

Peter


Church Fart

An elderly couple are attending church services...

About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband.

It says, "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

He scribbles back, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/22/2012 12:00:00 PM
Hi All,

When you're new at a job there are sometimes some hiccups as you'll se in the below story.

Shalom,

Peter


SIPPING VODKA

Finally, a chain letter that I don't mind forwarding.

It's funny (don't break chain)

A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the **** out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body." He did not say, "Eat me."

12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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7259 Posts
7259
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/22/2012 5:33:55 PM
Hi All,

I just now found this in my gmail inbox and thought it was hilarious and a must share. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Shalom,

Peter


Irish Birth Control

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when
she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan And didn't I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there Any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week And I'll light a fertility candle for ye And yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father...' They then parted ways..

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?' She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!' The Father asked, 'And tell me , Have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles,
Ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! And how is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/23/2012 2:51:35 PM
Hi All,

Here's today's edition of NewsBusted. Jodi is at her best today and reports on: What Jay Carney claims B Hussein is not doing all the time and what Jodi thinks he is doing, you'll also find out who's to blame for nut case Alan Grayson's (ex dem Congressman from Fla.)running a red light and getting involved in an accident and much more.

Shalom,

Peter


Topics

--Jay Carney
--President Obama Campaigning
--Gasoline Prices
--Alan Grayson Car Crash
--Planned Parenthood
--Texas Voter ID Law
--Eleanor Clift
--Billy Crystal Birthday

Starring: Jodi Miller
Production: Dialog New Media


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=v1Vu-V6nEZM


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/23/2012 5:10:46 PM
Hi All,

O'Reilly's producer went to Florida to interview college students on spring break. To be honest their lack of knowledge is frightening but the video is funny so I decided to share it with you all.

Shalom,

Peter


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Drx9z7m9A


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0


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