MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when
a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and
have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's
ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
Laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.