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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/16/2011 12:14:59 AM

Thank you Amanda, it is wonderful to be back. I am still working from my laptop because before I can use my desktop I need a phone jack for DSL in the front bedroom that I am making into an office and that is scheduled for this Thursday. I like to be able to look out the window and watch the world go by. LOL This past month has been one of many challenges and hurdles and if I had not changed realtors I would still be house hunting. After months of failing to get an offer accepted because of multiple offers and bidding wars I finally changed agents, a wonderful young man by the name A D, the initials of his name. After one consultation with him and telling him what I was looking for he found three houses for me to tour and either one would have been a great choice. I had explained to him that I wanted something I could close on in a hurry and of the three I toured I made offers on two of them and told him I would go with the first I one we heard back form. So we looked at the three houses on Friday afternoon and I made my offers that evening, late, and the seller of the first house I looked at gave a verbal acceptance the following morning and we closed in eight days.So far I really like it here and the people are very friendly. I have already met one of my neighbors so I think I have made a good choice.

Quote:
Hello Evelyn,

Welcome back, you have been missed.

I had to smile when you said you never dreamed you had so much junk.. With James and my frequent relocation's we slowly but surely 'trimmed down' a whole heap of junk over the years.

Amanda


Quote:

Hello friends, I have so missed being here but as most of you know I sold my villa in Tennessee and moved here to SW Florida because I didn't want to go through another brutal East Tennessee winter. Between house hunting and days without an internet connections I was beginning to have major withdrawals. LOL Now I have the daunting task of unpacking. I never dreamed I had so much junk. :) Anyway it is absolutely wonderful to be back among my friends.

I think I posted this little video earlier but it always makes me laugh, especially where little Charlie giggles. It just cracks me up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/16/2011 12:25:46 AM

Hi friends, this one is for all you grandparents or anyone who deals with small children who have a habit of acting up. :)

Temper Control for Grandparents
GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD.

A woman in a supermarket is watching a grandfather and his badly-behaved 3-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, the grandfather is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the grandfather calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and the grandfather says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax, buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William. This little sh*it's name is Aaron."

((*_*))
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Jim
Jim Allen

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/17/2011 8:42:35 PM
http://twitpic.com/1gsue4

@dhrxsol1234

☭O☭..OOpsie!!!!!!!!! April 19, 2010

Rules for Bull**** Bingo 1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, prepare your
Rules for Bull**** Bingo

1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, prepare your "Bull**** Bingo" card by drawing a square

(I find that 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down.

That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.)

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

· Restored our reputation
· Strategic fit
· Let me be clear
· Make no mistake
· Back from the brink
· Signs of recovery
· Out of the loop
· Benchmark
· Job creation
· Fiscal restraint
· Win-win
· Affordable health care
· Previous Administration
· Greed on Wall Street
· At the end of the day
· Empower (or empowerment)
· Touch base
· Mindset
· Corporate greed
· Ballpark
· Game plan
· Leverage
· Inherited as in "I inherited this mess”
· Relief for working families

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.


4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULL****!"

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


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Jim
Jim Allen

5805
11253 Posts
11253
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/17/2011 9:42:03 PM
Quote:
http://twitpic.com/1gsue4

@dhrxsol1234

☭O☭..OOpsie!!!!!!!!! April 19, 2010

Rules for Bull**** Bingo 1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, prepare your
Rules for Bull**** Bingo

1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, prepare your "Bull**** Bingo" card by drawing a square

(I find that 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down.

That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.)

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

· Restored our reputation
· Strategic fit
· Let me be clear
· Make no mistake
· Back from the brink
· Signs of recovery
· Out of the loop
· Benchmark
· Job creation
· Fiscal restraint
· Win-win
· Affordable health care
· Previous Administration
· Greed on Wall Street
· At the end of the day
· Empower (or empowerment)
· Touch base
· Mindset
· Corporate greed
· Ballpark
· Game plan
· Leverage
· Inherited as in "I inherited this mess”
· Relief for working families

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.


4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULL****!"

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/18/2011 3:36:37 AM
Hello Friends,

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
>
> A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
>
> 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
> enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
>
> Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
> outlined below when accessing their accounts.
>
> After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been
> developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
>
> *******************************
> MALE PROCEDURE:

> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> 2. Put down your car window.
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> 6. Put window up.
> 7. Drive off.
>
> *******************************
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:

> (What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)
>
> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
> machine.
> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
> card.
> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
> distance from the car.
> 8. Insert card.
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
> inside back page.
> 11. Enter PIN.
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> 16.. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
> check book.
> 18. Re-check makeup.
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 21. Retrieve card.
> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
> provided!
> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> 25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 27. Release Parking Brake.
>
> SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THE LADIES who can handle
> it.... A lady sent it to me. She was laughing, too.

God Bless Everyone
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