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Jim
Jim Allen

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/28/2011 12:05:02 AM

For the third time since 2007, a Lego Man, featuring the message, "No Real Than You Are" emblazoned on his chest, has washed ashore, this time in Siesta Key, Fla. Police left baffled after an 8-foot-tall, 100 lb Lego man washed ashore on a Florida beach. Legoland officials said the Lego man was a counterfeit and is not endorsed by the company.

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/28/2011 12:03:25 PM
Hey Jim,

An interesting message don't you think? :)

Shalom,

Peter



Quote:

For the third time since 2007, a Lego Man, featuring the message, "No Real Than You Are" emblazoned on his chest, has washed ashore, this time in Siesta Key, Fla. Police left baffled after an 8-foot-tall, 100 lb Lego man washed ashore on a Florida beach. Legoland officials said the Lego man was a counterfeit and is not endorsed by the company.
Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/28/2011 12:07:39 PM
Hi All,

I received a few interesting jokes in my inbox this morning and wanted to share them with you all.

Shalom,

Peter

Trip to Rome ......

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it���s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?"

Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/28/2011 12:12:57 PM
Hi All,

Here's the second one I received today and it's hilarious. :)

Shalom,

Peter


BED SHEETS


An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked,

'What the heck is going on here?'

The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the sh*it out of a ghost.'


Happy Halloween


Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/28/2011 12:17:07 PM
Hi All,

And this one aside from being amusing has an important message to it IMHO.

Shalom.

Shalom


I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built at Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. Thus the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy", and the other, a gentleman's club, called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called " Iraq o' Ribs." Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge ", its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side, in acknowledgement of the former leader of al-Qaeda Bin Laden should be a liquor store named "Two Shots and a Splash".

All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved.

Peter Fogel
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