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Mary Evelyn 23244 5352 Strawb...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 1/11/2011 2:58:15 AM
	Happy Monday everyone. It is very cold with over 5" of snow here where I live in East Tennessee. Burrrrr He Said To Me! He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it. I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you? He said to me . . ...... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? I said. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove and sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but f*rt. He said to me.. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? I said to him.Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay? I said to him .. . They don't have time. He said to me... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I said to him..... I don't know, it has never happened. He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? I said to him They already have boyfriends. He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? I said. A widow. He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women? I said to him... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 1/11/2011 7:04:32 AM
	Hi Kathleen, I guess the Irish have their ways and teachers can't always appreciate them. The fact that they are humorless and can't deal with classroom problems on their own is their problem. You're lucky she didn't recommend your son be put on ritalin. I stood up for my daughters many a time when their teachers were being unreasonable. Here's an example of unreasonable behavior that got me going. In my eldest daughter's senior year in High School she and a very good friend decided to skip classes and study on their own in the school yard. My daughter was an A+ student as was her friend. The principal caught them and decided as their punishment to ban them from taking a math test that was crucial for their upcoming matriculation exams. It was a pretest for the matriculation exam that based their yearly average and was used along with the matriculation results to average out their final marks. Needless to say this was a ridiculous punishment and I met with the class advisor and she said this was the principals decision and she couldn't do anything about it. I met with the principal who was actually very good at his job but in this case chose the wrong form of punishment. We had a heated discussion in which I told him that my daughter deserves punishment for cutting class but not one that can effect her future. In the end the principal agreed and gave the 2 girls realistic punishment that they deserved. As a point of interest my daughter aced that exam as she did all of her matriculation exams and was accepted into all the Universities in Israel including some very prestigious Universities in the United States and Europe. Shalom, Peter Quote: LOL! The Irish on the plane joke back there reminds me of when one of Jayson's high school teachers called. She said he was joking about wanting a beer in school, and she told him she was going to call his mother (me?) and he said, "Go ahead, she won't say anything, she's Irish!" ...and I didn't really say anything, I laughed about it. The teacher was even more annoyed. She said, "You think that's funny?" I said, "Well, he DID tell you I'm Irish, right?" (I'm wondering if the truly Irish great-grandparents would have been amused or annoyed?)
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 1/11/2011 7:09:35 AM
	Hi Evelyn, "He said to me" and "I said to him" the core of most marital differences. Gotta love the different way we look at things. That goes back to the difference between a man's brain vs a woman's brain. There's a video on that subject in this thread back there. Here's one I'm sure you'll get a kick out of. Shalom, Peter A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.. A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she over comes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... "A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ??"
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 1/11/2011 7:12:20 AM
	Hi All, Confucius sure had a good sense of humor as you'll see below. Shalom, Peter Confucius Say: ~~~~~~~~~ Man who run in front of car get tired. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who run behind car get exhausted. ~~~~~~~~~ Man with one chopstick go hungry. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. ~~~~~~~~~ Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. ~~~~~~~~~ War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. ~~~~~~~~~ Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. ~~~~~~~~~ It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. ~~~~~~~~~ Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. ~~~~~~~~~ Crowded elevator smell different to midget. ~~~~~~~~~ Person who deletes this has no humor
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 1/11/2011 7:16:50 AM
	Hi All, Sometimes misunderstandings and assumptions unfortunately take place. Hmmmm, come to think about it that's not totally foreign to some members in this community. Shalom, Peter Camel Sex A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghanistan Desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks their Sergeant why the camel is kept there.The nervous sergeant said, 'Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women, and sir, sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Molly The Camel.' The Captain says, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay.' About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it?' 'No, not really, sir. They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are.'
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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