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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/25/2010 9:23:10 PM
Hi All,
I just got this from a very good friend. I had a good laugh reading it.
Shalom,
Peter

While walking in the convent a priest passed one of the nuns and noticed she was gaining a little weight. “Gaining a little weight, are we Sister Angela?” he asked. “No, Father,” Sister Angela said, “It’s just a little gas.”
A month or two later, the priest noticed that she had gained yet more weight. “Gaining some weight, are we Sister Angela?” asked the priest. “No, Father, just a little gas,” she again replied.
A couple of months later, the priest noticed Sister Angela pushing a baby carriage through the convent. Approaching her, he leaned over, looked in the carriage and said, “My, what a cute little fart!”
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/26/2010 4:18:22 AM
Hi All,
I guess not only Monica had a bad taste in her
mouth. :)
Shalom,

Peter


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/26/2010 3:51:17 PM
Hi All,

When I started reading the below joke I had an inkling of where it was going. I was right and it still gave me a big belly laugh. :)

Shalom,

Peter


DA VINCI CODE

Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:



It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings..

The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said: 'This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them..'

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_BFb10X2PE3U/TRdhbi1gD8I/AAAAAAAAAd0/YE_H41_CHAM/codes.jpg

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_BFb10X2PE3U/TRdhbi1gD8I/AAAAAAAAAd0/YE_H41_CHAM/codes.jpg

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, 'Idiots, Hebrew is read from right to left......
It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The A*ss On That Chick

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_BFb10X2PE3U/TRdhbi1gD8I/AAAAAAAAAd0/YE_H41_CHAM/codes.jpg

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/26/2010 8:47:47 PM
Hi All,
Since we've already had a taste of Monica and the Clinton's we may as well have a finale on this topic.
Shalom,
Peter

BIRTHDAY REMINDER ----

This week we celebrate a special
birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned
37. Can you believe it? It seems
like only yesterday she was crawling
around the White House on her hands
and knees, and putting everything in
her mouth.

They grow up so fast ..... don't they?
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/26/2010 8:53:29 PM
Hi All,
I had a good laugh after reading this one.
Shalom,
Peter

WALMART INTERVIEW

Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart, had the task
of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After
sorting through a stack of resumes she found
four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer
decided to call the four in and ask them only
one question. Their answer would determine
which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the
conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What
is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops
into your head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied Jennifer. 'And, now you
sir?', she asked the second man.

'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes
and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK
is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's
a very popular cliché for speed.' She then turned to
the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the
house and on the wall there's a light switch. When
you flip that switch, way out across the pasture
the light on the barn comes on in less than an
instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest
thing I can think of'.

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer
and thought she had found her man. 'It 's hard to beat
the speed of light,' she said.

Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, Jennifer
posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three
answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known
is DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't
feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I
could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had
already sh*t in my pants.'

BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

You probably will think of this every time you enter a
Wal-Mart from now on!
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0


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