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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/3/2010 4:29:45 PM
Hi All,

Here's one that I couldn't help sharing with all y'all.

Shalom,

Peter

A very tired nurse walks into a bank,
totally exhausted after an 18-hour
shift.

Preparing to write a check,
she pulls a rectal thermometer out
of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake,
she looks at the flabbergasted teller
and without missing a beat, she says:
'well, that's great....that's just great....

Some *sshole's got my pen!'



Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/4/2010 2:03:41 PM
Hi All,
Here's one that'll definitely get a chuckle outta you.
Shalom,
Peter

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY




On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
Inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts
And sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several
Dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he
Thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
Investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you,
One for me...'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just
Around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and
The Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When
The boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you,
One for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if
We can see the Lord...?


Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to See anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the Fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...?


They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the Bike passed him

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/4/2010 3:12:18 PM
Hi All,

This one's an oldie but still funny every time you read it.

Shalom,

Peter


All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.


After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.


Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.



Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/4/2010 3:45:42 PM
Hi All,

This one's funny and should get a chuckle outta you.

Shalom,

Peter

Boudreaux done got old and his children
dun put him in the old folks' home near
Breaux Bridge, where he dun met a lovely
lady dat were from Texas . Now Boudreaux
being a fine upstanding Catholic, he didn't
want to do nutin dat were against his
religion, no. So he dun propose marriage.

Now both Boudreaux and Mabel were in
their 80s.

Mable went and tole everyone at the
Senior Citizens home the good news....
Irene, Mabel's best friend, told her that
since she was very wealthy and the person
she was about to wed was, well to say the
least, not worth a plug nickel, she should
insist on a Prenuptial Agreement.

Mabel was sitting on the porch swing with
Boudreaux and she told him she would
marry him providing he would sign a
prenuptial agreement.

Boudreaux dun told Mabel I don' know
what dat is but I'll sign anything you want,
cause I luv you so much.

Mabel got out her pen and paper and
started:

She said: I want to keep my house down
in Texas with all the oil wells.

He said: Dat's fine wit me. I'll keep my
shack on da bayou.

She said: I want to keep my Cadillac,
BMW and Lexus.

He said: Dat's fine wit me. I'll keep my
pick-em-up truck.*

She said: I want to keep my yacht that
is moored near my summer home in Padre
Island.

He said: Dat's fine wit me. I'll keep my
pirogue.

She said: I want to keep all my jewelry.

He said: Dat's fine wit me. I'll keep my
stuffed deer head..

She said: And I want to have sex 6 times
a week.

He said: Dat's fine wit me... Put me down
for Fridays.


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/4/2010 6:07:27 PM

Hello Peter and friends. Ever had a day like this?

His request approved, the CNN News photographer

quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to
charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for
him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up
outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut,
and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and
took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot,
'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take
pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN Cable News,' he
responded. 'And I need to get some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he
stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . .
You're NOT my flight instructor?'
+0


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