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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/1/2010 4:45:38 PM
Hi All,
This one is verrrrrrrrrry cute and funny.
Shalom,
Peter



The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a 'Vote for Obama' hat and a 'Save the Trees' tee-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot tall grizzly.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of republican loggers with 'Go Sarah' tee-shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them used a hoist to pull it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly assisted the injured democrat into the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them, "I've heard there was a bitter hatred between republican loggers and democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true, you saved that man like he was your brother." The Pope made the sign of the cross over the loggers and bid them farewell.

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies "Who was that little guy in the beanie?" "It was the Pope," another replied, "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about grizzly hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"
Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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7259
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/1/2010 5:18:55 PM
Hi All,
Here's another one that has a moral to it. Never and I mean never assume anything. :)
Shalom,
Peter

Broccoli Casserole

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'

The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.

This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrriiippp!

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she ****s on you!'

Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/1/2010 6:12:13 PM
Hi All,

This one's brilliant and has a message to all the vegitarians. Bet y'all thought I was gonna say something else. If you did then consider it said. :)

Shalom,

Peter

Peter Fogel
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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/1/2010 7:00:27 PM

To follow “up” on Skippy, and I would not hesitate to say somewhat more uppish, (If that’s a word!) A well to do table of the most elegant social class, the elderly gentleman seated beside the lady of the house was fooled into letting out an outrageous noise just as the conversation quieted out.

All stares instantly homed onto him and he was left with no other choice but to pretend a vocal continuation at many levels with maestro tremolos of the sound as he knifed away at the turkey breast in his plate.

After a minute the Lady of the house turned to him and said “Those are tremendous imitations my good man, but tell me; how do you do for the smell?”

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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/3/2010 4:25:07 PM
Hi All,
Here's an oldie that is hilarious.
Shalom,
Peter


Good Neighbors
Sam was a college professor for 25 years and finally got sick
of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in
Minnesota as far from humanity as possible. He saw the
postman once a week and got groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, he was
finishing dinner when someone knocked on his door.
He opened it and there was a 300 lb., six-foot-three-inch
tall bearded man in a fur hat and overalls standing there.
"Name's Lars... Your neighbor from four miles away...
Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come."
"Great," said Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready
to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Lars was leaving he stopped, "Gotta warn you
there's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem... after 25 years of teaching college
kids, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, as he started to leave Lars stopped.
"More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
Sam said, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there.
Thanks again."
Once again Lars turned from the door. "I've seen some
wild sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem!" said Sam, "I've been all
alone for six months! I'll definitely be there ... by the way,
what should I wear?"
Lars stopped in the door again and said, "Whatever
you want, just gonna be the two of us."
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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