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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/22/2010 10:00:31 PM
Hi All,
Here's one that shows that even fairy godmothers can't do everything. :)
Shalom,
Peter

Fairy Godmother
So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in
the forest kinda ticked off because he doesn't
want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he
were green like the other toads.. He'd sure be
less visible to predators for one thing.
Anyway... this yellow toad bumps into a fairy
godmother.
He begs her: "Fairy godmother, please make
me green like the other toads. I am tired of being
so visible to predators and suchlike."
The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand
and says, "Toadra-capokus! You're green!"
The toad looks down and sees that he is green
except for his package, which is still yellow.
He says to the fairy godmother: "Wait a minute!
My pecker's still yellow!"
To this the fairy godmother replies: "I don't do
johnsons. You will have to go see The Wizard
of Oz for that." The toad thanks her and hops off
on his way.
There is a purple bear wandering about the very
same woods. As luck would have it, he also
encounters the very same fairy godmother. He
implores her: "Fairy godmother, please make me
brown like all the other bears. None of the lady
bears want to be seen with me on account that
the hunters can spot me from a mile off."
She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her
magic wand and says:"Bearus-cadabra! You're
brown!"
The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact,
brown with the exception of the ole twig and
berries. They remain purple. He says: "My wang
is still purple!" She says: "I don't do units, you will
have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."
To this the bear replies: "Well that's just dandy,
but how the hell do I find The Wizard of Oz?"
The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy...
just follow the yellowdick Toad!"
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/23/2010 3:36:39 AM

OK ladies. This one is for you. :)

The Top Ten Reasons God Made Women
God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of
Eden because he wouldn't ask for directions.
God knew that someday Adam would need someone to
hand him the TV remote. (Parenthetically, it has been
noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV; they
want to see WHAT ELSE is on.)
God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's
appointment.
God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he
would never buy a new one for himself.
God knew that Adam would not remember to take
out the garbage.
God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he
knew Adam would never be able to handle labor
pains and childbirth.
As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help
in finding his tools.
Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple
Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault.
As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone."
And the No. 1 reason of all . . .
God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared:
"I can do better than that!"
.
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Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/23/2010 4:47:28 PM
Hi All,

This is a very cute joke and you decide if there is a moral to it.

Shalom,

Peter

A Preacher was explaining that he must move on
to a larger congregation that could pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one
wants him to leave.
Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the
city stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays,
I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year,
and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their
children!" The congregation sighs in relief, and
applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor,
stands and says, "If the Preacher will stay on here,
I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a
foundation to guarantee the college education of all
his children! "More sighs and loud applause.
Joe Tavares stands up and says, if the preacher
stays I will provide him with all the wine he wants.
Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a
smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!"
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones,
whatever possessed you to say that?"
Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to
hide, Holding his forehead with the palm of his
hand and shaking his head from side to side, while
his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how
we could help, And he said, "Screw him!"
Isn't senility wonderful?
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/23/2010 4:51:30 PM
Hi All,

This one had me laughing my so hard I almost had to sue myself when I spilled my coffee.

Shalom,

Peter

Hi All,

This is a very cute joke and you decide if there is a moral to it.

Shalom,

Peter

The Flasher:
Three little old ladies named Gertrude,
Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park
bench having a quiet conversation
when a flasher approached from across
the park. The flasher came up to the
ladies, stood right in front of them and
opened his trench coat. Gertrude
immediately had a stroke. Then Maude
also had a stroke. But Tilly, bless her
heart, being older and more feeble,
couldn’t reach that far.

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/23/2010 4:57:39 PM
Hi All,

This one's hilarious. :)

Shalom,

Peter

CATHOLIC
COFFEE


Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were
having coffee. The first Catholic man tells
his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks
into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps,
"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a
room people call him 'Your Grace'."


The third Catholic gent says, "My son is
a Cardinal. When he enters a room
everyone says 'Your Eminence'."


The fourth Catholic man then says,
"My son is the Pope. When
he walks into a room people call him
'Your Holiness'."


Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her
coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle,
"Well....?"
She proudly replies,
"I have a daughter,

slim,

tall,
38D
breast,

24"
waist,

34"
hips.

When she
walks into a room people say,

"Oh My
God."
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0


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