A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way.
I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies.
'You actually understood and answered me. !'
'I got every word,' says the parrot.
'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a
thoroughly educated bird'
'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.
'Then answer this, how do you hang onto
your perch, without any feet.?'
'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very
embarrassing, but since you asked,
I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar,
like a little hook.
You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy.
'You really can understand, and can speak
English, can't you.?'
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English,
and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic,
politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great
companion.'
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.
'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective,
so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I
don't have any feet.
You can probably get me for $20, just
make the guy an offer.!'
The guy offers $20, and walks out with the
parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humor, he's
interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, he sympathizes, and he's
insightful.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work,
and the parrot goes, Psssssssssssst,' and
motions him over with one wing.
'I don't know if I should tell you this or not,
but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.'
'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.
'When the UPS man delivered a package
today, your wife greeted him at the door,
in a sheer black nightie.'
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
'THEN what happened?'
'Well, then the UPS man came into the
house, and lifted up her nightie, and began
petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'
'Yes.
Then he continued taking off the nightie,
got down on his knees, and began to kiss
her all over.'
Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN
WHAT HAPPENED.?'
DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell
off my perch.!'
If this doesn't make you laugh, you're
having a really bad day.