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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/1/2010 6:55:01 AM
Hi All, No explanations necessary for this one. :)
Shalom,
Peter



TRAFFIC CAMERA


My husband was driving when he saw
the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had
been taken for exceeding the limit even though
he knew that he was not speeding. He went around the
block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again
the
camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was
quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area once more,
but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth and fifth time
with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while
he rolled past at a snail's pace. Two weeks later, he got five
tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You can't fix stupid.
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/1/2010 1:26:43 PM
Blonde Mortician.

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she
would like the body dressed.

She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he
is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband
looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't
care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for
the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake.

To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous
blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly ...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you
spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with
the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite
blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a
deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought
in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive
blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave
wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference
as long as he looked nice. .. . . . . ...

So I just switched the heads.'



(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING!!!)
.
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/1/2010 9:31:57 PM
Hi Evelyn, I was planning to post that joke but you beat me to it. I think you'll appreciate this one. :)
Shalom,
Peter

I was in my back yard trying to fly a kite.

I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.

I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, my wife, Karen is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yelled to me,

'You need a piece of tail.'

I turned with a confused look on my face and said,

'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/1/2010 9:35:28 PM
Hi All,
This one's to funny and does have a moral to it. :)
Shalom,
Peter

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he
suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls
over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for
one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We
have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie
for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie
$265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's
Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and
a key chain made with Ken's balls.
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
10/1/2010 10:08:27 PM
This might just make it for a Friday evening, if not come back and read it on Monday! ;-)

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says ” Wow, that’s some hole, I can’t even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?”

The second hunter says” I don’t know, let’s throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”

The first hunter says ” There’s this old transmission here, give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see”.

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole. They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, and jumped in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. “Say there”, says the farmer, “you fellers didn’t happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?”

The first hunter says ” Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!”

And the old farmer said ” Why that’s impossible, I had him chained to a transmission! ”

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