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Peter

1470

7259

Lod

RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week

8/24/2010 5:19:58 AM

Hi Phil,

I think by now the whole country will get this joke ....... aside from Californians. Oooooops, and the fools in the White House, the Democratic Senators and Congressmen.

I think you'll like this joke.

Shalom,

Peter

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test..

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job..'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ..
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.....
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire.. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story

Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life..

Moral 2
If you don't have an Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire..........

P.S - Do not forward this email back to me, I am closing my email account & going to sell tomatoes!!!

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7

Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 8/24/2010 5:23:06 AM
	Hi All, This one says it all and those that have an aversion to exercise will love it. Shalom, Peter If walking is good for your health,the mailman would be immortal,,, -A whale swims all day,only eat sea food,drink plenty water and it is fat,,, -The rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. -A turtle does not run,does nothing,,,,but lives 450 years. Conclusion: TO HELL WITH EXERCISE
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
	+0

Jim 5805 11253 Holiday	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 8/24/2010 4:07:15 PM
	Man now this is too funny, a good belly laugh! Quote: Hi Peter, Not sure how many here will get this joke, but I'm sure that the Good Folks out in Arizona would definitely get it right off. Robot Caddy A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life. The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the new robot caddies. The club pro then informs the golfer that unfortunately they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened. The golf pro tells him that several of the members had complained that the sun would reflect of the robot's Silver metallic material and into their eyes. Noticing all of the Mexicans working on the Grounds Maintenance crew, the golfer asks the Pro why they didn't just paint the robots Brown? The Golf Pro said that they had already tried that, but then by the next day, 3 of them didn't show up for work and the other 3 robbed the pro shop. Have A Happy Day, Phil
	May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you, Jim Allen III Skype: JAllen3D Everything You Need For Online Success
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 8/26/2010 6:19:15 AM
	Hello Friends, You can't beat Don Rickles when it comes to basic truths and no one tells it better then him. :) Shalom, Peter Hello, dummies! Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident? Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful. Speaking of the Speaker... Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity. Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot. Madame Speaker... want to make twelve bucks the hard way? Pelosi says she's not partisan, but her constituents call her Madame Pelossilini. Charlie Rangel... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker. Barney Frank - he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider... he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system! Let's all admit it... Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on Novocain.. How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right.. he's from Massachusetts . That's the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry -- man of the people! You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him. Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel", it may be time to retire. Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons . Even Rangel looks up to him! Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you... especially given your upbringing. All you've overcome.... I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don't think you're a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? As for President Obama, what can I say? They say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree. Now it's true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. His mind is open to new ideas -- so open that ideas simply pass through it. Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack. Just don't ask about his middle name! But Obama was able to set a record... he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton FOR THOSE THAT VOTED FOR "HOPE AND CHANGE".. BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOUNTY! ------------------------- President Obama just completed the UNHOLY and ANTI-AMERICAN TRIFECTA: 1st president in 110 years to miss the annual Army-Navy Football Game 1st president to not attend any Christmas religious observance. 1st president to stay on vacation after a terrorist attack. AND ALL IN THE SAME MONTH! WHAT A GREAT PRESIDENT .
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
	+0

Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 8/26/2010 6:29:36 AM
	Hello All, I guess this one's for all the seniors or those on the verge. Enjoy. :) :) *Lovemaking Tips For Seniors* *1 Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.* *2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.* *3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)* 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.. 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.. 8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too. 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!! 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. *'OLD' IS WHEN...* *Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'* *'OLD' IS WHEN...* *Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.* *'OLD' IS WHEN...* *Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.* *'OLD' IS WHEN....* *You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.* *'OLD' IS WHEN...* *You are cautioned to slow down by the* *doctor instead of by the police* . *'OLD' IS WHEN. 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.* *'OLD' IS WHEN....* *'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..* *'OLD' IS WHEN...* *An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.* *'OLD' IS WHEN....* *You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.*
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
	+0

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