Quote:
Hi All,

I wonder if this one will be considered to be border line racist. I think it's d*amn funny. :)

Shalom,

Peter

This news just in...

It appears that Obama is going to impose a 40% tax on aspirin just because it's white and it works!!!

Quote:
Hi All,

This isn't a joke but it is fun and brings back memories. I got them all right. Hmmm, wonder what that says about me? :)

Shalom,

Peter

A TEST FOR OLD KIDS

Have some fun my sharp-witted friends. This is a test for us 'old kids'! Don't fit the criteria of 'old kids'? Then pass it on to those you think will fit the description.

The answers are printed below, but don't cheat.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.

03 'Get your kicks, __________________.'

04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.'

05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________.'

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.'

07. Nestle's makes the very best . . . . _______________.'

08. Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10 . Red Skeleton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________. '

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________ & _______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the __ ______________.

ANSWERS :

01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.

02. The Ed Sullivan Show

03. On Route 66

04. To protect the innocent

05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight

06. The limbo

07. Chocolate

08. Louis Armstrong

09. The Timex watch

10. Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'

11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned. ? Not flags, as some have guessed)

12. Beetle or Bug

13. Buddy Holly

14. Sputnik

15. Hoola-hoop

Poll: One out of Five Americans Do Not Believe Obama Exists

‘Existers’ Movement Gathers Steam

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In what might be the most serious challenge to Barack Obama’s legitimacy as President, a new poll shows that one out of five Americans are not convinced that Mr. Obama exists.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 23 percent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I believe that Barack Obama’s birth was faked, just like the moon landing.”

The poll results coincide with the recent rise of the so-called “Exister” movement, a group who believes that Mr. Obama is an optical illusion created by the Democratic Party to raise taxes and bail out banks.

“The Birthers say that Obama’s lack of a birth certificate means he was born in Kenya,” says Jerrilene Rance, a leading Exister. “We believe it’s proof that he was never born.”

Ms. Rance says that while President George W. Bush was criticized for disappearing every August, “Obama is never there to begin with.”

Appearing Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) made comments about Mr. Obama’s existence that only stoked the controversy.

“I’ve spoken to him face-to-face, and I take him at his word that he exists,” he said. “Unless of course I was talking to a hologram.”

At the White House, spokesman Robert Gibbs brushed aside a question about the President’s existence, saying that Mr. Obama had “no comment.”

Exister leader Jerrilene Rance offered this response: "The reason he has no comment is that he has no mouth."

The Los Angeles Times says that Andy Borowitz has “one of the funniest Twitter feeds around.” Follow Andy on Twitter here.

Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox by clicking here.

Did you catch the Joke? I thought this was funny when I first read it and now that I have reread it still makes me laugh

Quote:

Poll: One out of Five Americans Do Not Believe Obama Exists

‘Existers’ Movement Gathers Steam

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In what might be the most serious challenge to Barack Obama’s legitimacy as President, a new poll shows that one out of five Americans are not convinced that Mr. Obama exists.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 23 percent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I believe that Barack Obama’s birth was faked, just like the moon landing.”

The poll results coincide with the recent rise of the so-called “Exister” movement, a group who believes that Mr. Obama is an optical illusion created by the Democratic Party to raise taxes and bail out banks.

“The Birthers say that Obama’s lack of a birth certificate means he was born in Kenya,” says Jerrilene Rance, a leading Exister. “We believe it’s proof that he was never born.”

Ms. Rance says that while President George W. Bush was criticized for disappearing every August, “Obama is never there to begin with.”

Appearing Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) made comments about Mr. Obama’s existence that only stoked the controversy.

“I’ve spoken to him face-to-face, and I take him at his word that he exists,” he said. “Unless of course I was talking to a hologram.”

At the White House, spokesman Robert Gibbs brushed aside a question about the President’s existence, saying that Mr. Obama had “no comment.”

Exister leader Jerrilene Rance offered this response: "The reason he has no comment is that he has no mouth."

The Los Angeles Times says that Andy Borowitz has “one of the funniest Twitter feeds around.” Follow Andy on Twitter here.

Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox by clicking here.

Did you catch the Joke? I thought this was funny when I first read it and now that I have reread it still makes me laugh

Hi Peter,

Not sure how many here will get this joke, but I'm sure that the Good Folks out in Arizona would definitely get it right off.

Robot Caddy

A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.

The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the new robot caddies.

The club pro then informs the golfer that unfortunately they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.

The golf pro tells him that several of the members had complained that the sun would reflect of the robot's Silver metallic material and into their eyes.

Noticing all of the Mexicans working on the Grounds Maintenance crew, the golfer asks the Pro why they didn't just paint the robots Brown?

The Golf Pro said that they had already tried that, but then by the next day, 3 of them didn't show up for work and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.

Have A Happy Day,

Phil