Quote:
Hi All,

I found this one in my inbox this morning and thought

many of you might appreciate it. :)

Shalom,

Peter

Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone

tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start

their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and

is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body

away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell

his wife.

Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive

stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back

carrying a case of Budweiser.

Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie? '
'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' Ronnie replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband

was dead and she gave you beer?' 'Well, not exactly',

Donnie says. 'When she answered the door, I said to

her, "you must be Cooter's widow."
She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'

Then I said,'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.'

Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.

Quote:
Hi All,

This one's not a joke but it might bring a smile or frown on your face. Ah, fond memories indeed.

Shalom,

Peter

How old is Grandpa?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events..
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandpa replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There was no:

' radar

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers!

' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon

Your Grandmother and I got married first, . and then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir".
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir.."

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the Prime Minister's speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, ride on a bus, and a Coke were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . .. . but who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' "grass" was mowed,

' "coke" was a cold drink,

' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and

' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,

' " chip" meant a piece of wood,

' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and

' "software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.. and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.






This man would be only 58 years old!