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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
7/1/2010 11:02:35 PM
Hi All,
I'd give this woman a chance just for realizing her blunder with B Hussein O BOWma.
Shalom,
Peter


The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove
seemed to be far too qualified for the job.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this:
"Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!

"I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Toyotas, and I voted for Obama.
Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
7/4/2010 4:07:07 AM
Hello Friends,

Happy Independence to all.

Here's a cute one that shows ingenuity and smarts. :)

Shalom,

Peter

Male Strippers

Last night, my Red Hat friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.

Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet . . .

What could I do?

The woman in me took over!

I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and I left!!!

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
7/5/2010 3:24:30 AM
Hi All,
I'm not sure this one's a joke but .......
Shalom,
Peter

Be careful what you wish for..................

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.
"Good man," the fairy said, "I've been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children."
The man told the fairy, "Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and --
PING!-- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two more to go."
The refugee claimant now got bolder. "I need a big house with a three-car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.. I want to bring them all over here" --- and -- PING!-- in the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three-car garage, a long driveway, and a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.
"One more wish," said the fairy, waving her wand.
"Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans" ---and --- PING! --
The man was transformed - wearing worn-out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt, and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
"What happened to my new teeth?" he wailed. "Where is my new house?"

THIS IS GOOD . . . . . . . .
NO, ACTUALLY THIS IS VERY GOOD . . . . . . .
The fairy said:
"Tough ****, Amigo, now that you are a white American, you have to fend for yourself."
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
7/5/2010 3:36:28 AM
Hi All,
Here's some trivia for you. Interesting to say the least.
Shalom,
Peter

The telephone was not widely appreciated for the first 15
years because people did not see a use for it. In fact, in
the British parliament it was mentioned there was no need
for telephones because "we have enough messengers here."
Western Union believed that it could never replace the
telegraph. In 1876, an internal memo read: "This telephone
has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a
means of communication."

***

Irish scientist, Dr. Dionysius Lardner (1793 - 1859) didn't
believe that trains could contribute much in speedy transport.
He wrote: "Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because
passengers would die of asphyxia."

***

In 1966, Time Magazine predicted, "By 2000, the machines will
be producing so much that everyone in the U.S. will, in
effect, be independently wealthy." In that year too CoCo
Chanel said about miniskirts: "It's a bad joke that won't
last. Not with winter coming."

***

In the early 20th century a world market for only 4 million
automobiles was made because "the world would run out of
chauffeurs." Shortly after the end of World War II (1945),
the whole of Volkswagen, factory and patents, was offered
free to Henry Ford II. He dismissed the Volkswagen Beetle
as a bad design.

***

In 1894, the president of the Royal Society, William Thomson,
Lord Kelvin, predicted that radio had no future. The first
radio factory was opened five years later. Today, there are
more than one billion radio sets in the world, tuned to more
than 33 000 radio stations around the world. He also pre-
dicted that heavier-than-air flying machines were impossible.
The Wright Brother's first flight covered a distance equal
to only half the length of the wingspan of a Boeing 747.

***

In 1927, H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, asked, "Who the hell
wants to hear actors talk?"

***

In 1936, Radio Times editor Rex Lambert thought "Television
won't matter in your lifetime or mine."
Peter Fogel
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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
7/5/2010 4:15:40 PM




Boss: Welcome and work well today!



Boss: Today you'll need to better that!



Boss: You will realy need to do your best!



Boss: I said your very best!


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