Hi Peter,
Since we're on the subject of Blondes...
Blonde Taking a Test
The blonde reported for her university final examination which consisted of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she was seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what was going on. Her reply was "I finished the exam in half and hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."
__________
How'd You Know?
A young man wants to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary, so he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited--she loves her phone. He shows it to her and explains all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.
"Hi hun," he says. "How do you like your new phone?"
She replies, "I just love it; it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. But there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Walmart?"
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Blonde vs. the Telemarketer
A blonde was eating her dinner when there was a ring at her phone. She answered it to find a telemarketer on the line. She told him politely that she didn't want it and hung up.
She went back to dinner, and not long after, the telemarketer called again. "Take me off your list and have a nice day," she told him.
Ten minutes later, the same telemarketer called back. "Listen, stop calling me and take me off your list!" she screamed into the phone.
She returned to the phone a moment later with a note that she stuck to the phone. It read, "NO SOLICITING."
__________
Killer Jigsaw Puzzle
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then," he sighed, "let's put all these frosted flakes back in the box."
__________
Some Quickies (Punny Thursday)
John: Did you hear about the tire that had a nervous breakdown?
Larry: No! Tell me about it.
John: It just couldn't take any more pressure.
John: Did you hear about the blonde farmer who ran a steamroller over
his field of potatoes?
Larry: No! Why would he do that?
John: He wanted to make mashed potatoes.
John: What did the judge say when a skunk wandered into the courtroom?
Larry: I give up, what?
John: He banged his gavel and said, "Odor in the courtroom!"
"I give up!" the little boy said while kneeling in prayer beside his bed. "Art doesn't listen to me at all."
"Art? Art who?" asked his bewildered mom.
"Art in Heaven," said the boy.
Have A Great Day,
Phil