Galileo very wisely and accurately said, “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” But then the Quran (oops, I mean the self proclaimed prophet MO) says, “O ye who believe! Ask not questions about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble. But if ye ask about things when the Qur'an is being revealed, they will be made plain to you, Allah will forgive those: for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing. Some people before you did ask such questions, and on that account lost their faith.” Whether you like it or not, but one has to give him full credit for being the smartest man on the face of the earth, or rather in history. He actually managed to make people stick to his illogical, senseless, cruel, evil cult centuries after his death. Why do you think Islam is widely spread?

According to the Quran and Hadeeth, a Murtad (apostate) is a person who leaves Islam openly, whereas a Munafiq (hypocrite) is someone who pretends to be a Muslim when he is not one anymore. Why would anyone pretend to be a Muslim when is not one anymore? Obviously because he loves life more than death, unlike the so called Jihads who claim to love just the opposite. In Quran 3:90-91 it says, “Lo! Those who disbelieve after their (profession of) belief, and afterward grow violent in disbelief: their repentance will not be accepted. And such are those who are astray. Lo! Those who disbelieve, and die in disbelief, the (whole) earth full of gold would not be accepted from such a one if it were offered as a ransom (for his soul). Theirs will be a painful doom and they will have no helpers.” Quran 4:89: “They long that ye should disbelieve even as they disbelieve, that ye may be upon a level (with them). So choose not friends from them till they forsake their homes in the way of Allah; if they turn back (to enmity) then take them and kill them wherever ye find them, and choose neither friend nor helper from among them.” Quran 5:54: “O ye who believe! if any from among you turn back from his Faith, soon will Allah produce a people whom He will love as they will love Him,- lowly with the believers, mighty against the rejecters, fighting in the way of Allah, and never afraid of the reproaches of such as find fault. That is the grace of Allah, which He will bestow on whom He pleases. And Allah encompassed all, and He knoweth all things.” Quran 9:66: “Make ye no excuses: ye have rejected Faith after ye had accepted it. If we pardon some of you, we will punish others amongst you, for that they are in sin.” Quran 9:73-74: “O Prophet! Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites! Be harsh with them. Their ultimate abode is hell, a hapless journey's end. They swear by Allah that they said nothing (wrong), yet they did say the word of disbelief, and did disbelieve after their Surrender (to Allah). And they purposed that which they could not attain, and they sought revenge only that Allah by His messenger should enrich them of His bounty. If they repent it will be better for them; and if they turn away, Allah will afflict them with a painful doom in the world and the Hereafter, and they have no protecting friend nor helper in the earth.” Quran 88:21-24: “Therefore do remind, for you are only a reminder. You are not a watcher over them; but whoever turns back and disbelieves, Allah will chastise him with the greatest chastisement.”

The Quran does not say clearly whether the apostate should be killed or spared, but as we all know, whatever the Quran lacked, the hadeeth more or less makes up for it. According to Sahih Bukhari (4:52:260): “Narrated Ikrima: Ali burnt some people and this news reached Ibn 'Abbas, who said, "Had I been in his place I would not have burnt them, as the Prophet said, 'don’t punish (anybody) with Allah's Punishment.' No doubt, I would have killed them, for the Prophet said, 'If somebody (a Muslim) discards his religion, kill him.' Sahih Bukhari (9:83:17): “Narrated 'Abdullah: Allah's Apostle said, "The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims." Sahih Bukhari (9:89:271): Narrated Abu Musa: A man embraced Islam and then reverted back to Judaism. Mu'adh bin Jabal came and saw the man with Abu Musa. Mu'adh asked, "What is wrong with this (man)?" Abu Musa replied, "He embraced Islam and then reverted back to Judaism." Mu'adh said, "I will not sit down unless you kill him (as it is) the verdict of Allah and His Apostle.”

These and many other similar hadeeths from various sources prove beyond any doubt that the Islamic Shariah punishment for apostasy is execution. This is precisely the reason why I have to hide my apostasy for the rest of my life and I have to keep on pretending to be a Muslim among other Muslims. Trust me, it is not an easy task, especially since I am not a Muslim anymore and I do not agree with anything which Islam says. It was pretty difficult being a practicing Muslim for the last 35 years, but now it is even harder. Some of my well wishers here on my blog suggested that I speak to my family about my apostasy and take their advice, but little do they know that my parents love their religion, especially their ideal perfect human being, the prophet of Islam Mohammed, more than they love their own daughter. They would not even think twice before disowning me for life, that is, if they do not kill me first in a fit of rage, which is pretty likely, come to think of it. I say this because once a couple of years ago, when I was pretty much a Muslim, I was reading “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali when my mother caught me reading it. She just read the introduction and got mad at me for even reading such a book. She said if any of my children did such a thing, I would kill her/him and then report myself to the police, I won’t mind even going to prison for such a crime because this is something which Allah and his prophet has ordered us to do. These were her very own words, so there is no way I can confide about my apostasy to anyone, especially my parents.

It means that I have two options... Either I should remain a closeted apostate for the rest of my life so that I don’t have to lose my loved ones, or I should just move to a western country and ask for asylum. It is probably the most difficult decision of my life, and so far I have not been able to come to any conclusion. The question that really baffles me is how anyone in their right senses could actually believe in Islam; it is the most illogical religion in the world. In fact, whenever I think of those 35 years I lived as a believing Muslim, I cannot but help feel anger, acute anger at Mohammed, the system, the society, and my family for making me follow something so sinister and evil, but most of all, I feel angry at myself for being such a fool. I mean, I always prided myself for being smart, educated, intelligent, intellectual and worldly, so how could I be so blind? I feel so angry sometimes that I actually contemplate suicide, because nothing in this world makes sense anymore. If the core of my belief was false, then is anything really true? I still get panic attacks and nightmares. I feel like crying all the time and I feel so alienated from my friends and family. The only solace in my otherwise meaningless existence is my blog, because I have so many friends and well wishers who love and support me in what I am doing. It helps me drag myself out of bed every morning. It really has given a new dimension to my life, and I just hope that it keeps on inspiring me in the future as well.

In my next blog, I will write about why Muslim men are so happy being Muslims, and how this religion caters to all their whims and fancies. It is totally a misogynistic doctrine which is a living nightmare for women. Till then, please keep on reading and commenting… Love you all…