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Janet Ravindran

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Re: Redneck Jokes & Graphics Here!! Share your's here
8/11/2007 12:03:07 PM
You might be a Redneck if....

You think safe sex is a padded headboard.

***

You think there's nothin wrong with incest
as long as you keep it in the family.

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You and your dog use the same tree.

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Your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner.

***

You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law.

***

You think watching professional
wrestling is foreplay.

***

You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.

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You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company

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Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

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Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.

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You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'

***

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

***

You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.

***

You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs.

***

You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.

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Phillip Black

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Re: Redneck Jokes & Graphics Here!! Share your's here
8/11/2007 12:27:46 PM

Hey BJ,

Sounds like a great idea to me.

Here's a few

Two rednecks are out walking in the woods. All of a sudden a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them..

..The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second guy says..what are you doing? He says I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll jump down and make a run for it..

The second guy says..Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear...

The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!

 

..A major network is planning the show "Survivor 12" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

..Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm Gay, I'm voting For Hillary, and I'm Here To Confiscate Your Guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

A redneck gets shot At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'" "And then what happened?" the officer interrupted. "From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.

Some good ole boy sentences..

Foreclose: If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money foreclose

Rectum: I had two Lexus coups, but my old lady rectum.

Disappointment: My parole officer told me that if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the big house.

Israel: Alozono tried to sell me a Rolex watch. I said man this looks fake. He said what a joke, that watch Israel.

Catacomb: Don King was at the fight the other night, somebody should get that catacomb.

Seldom: Darnell gave me two tickets to the game, and I want to seldom.

Tripoli: My 'ol lady wanted a bra for her birthday but I couldn't find a Tripoli.

Hope Y'all Enjoyed These.  If Not, Here Comes Our Complaint Department Manager Right Now

Y'all Have A Happy One,

Phil

 

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Monica S

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Re: Redneck Jokes & Graphics Here!! Share your's here
8/11/2007 1:33:40 PM

LOL @ you guys!!  These are great!

 

~Monica

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Bj
Bj Burgess

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Re: Redneck Jokes & Graphics Here!! Share your's here
8/11/2007 3:29:57 PM

Hi Rae

Thanks for coming by and posting.  Glad you enjoyed these. Friends, you have any redneck jokes or graphics, bring them on.

 

Bj

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Mary Hannan

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Re: Redneck Jokes & Graphics Here!! Share your's here
8/11/2007 3:33:47 PM





 

 

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