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Phillip Black

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Re: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
5/10/2009 7:27:52 PM

Hi Peter,

Once again, Thanks for the Smiles.  As a fellow horse-lover, I must say that I agree with their sentiments completely.

To be completely honest, all Politicians seem to rub me the wrong way these days.  Just the other day I was sitting out on the back porch in the swing, just drinking some Ice Tea and pondering

If... 

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?

Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

On a more positive note, though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.

Of course, I think that these Doctors kind of hit the nail on the head...

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and tail are interchangeable."

Finally, since it's Mother's Day, one for the Ladies...

One day I was reading a newspaper. On page two was a picture of a famous politician and his gorgeous wife.

Slightly jealous of the politician, I turned to my wife and said, "It's unfair that the biggest jerks in the world catch the most beautiful wives."

My wife smiled and replied, "Why, thank you dear."

Thanks Again my Friend and just remember...

Have A Terrific Week,

Phil

 

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Peter Fogel

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Re: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
5/10/2009 8:58:19 PM

Hi Phil.

I am a horse lover too and I've owned a few magnificent ones over the years.

Thanks for the additional laughs and here are a few for you.

Blond Handywoman

A blond, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire
herself out as a "handywoman" and started canvassing the
neighborhoods. She went to the front door of the first house
and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he
said. "How much will you charge me?"

The blond quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything
she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing
the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize
that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to
believe all those dumb blond jokes we've been getting by
e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blond handywoman came to the door to
collect her money.

"You finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blond replied, "and I had paint left over, so I
gave it two coats - no extra charge."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and
handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blond added, "it's not a Porch -- it's
a Lexus."

The Power of Prayer

Leroy was in Beckley, West Virginia
and went to a revival. The preacher
asks anyone with prayer needs to
come forward.  So, Leroy got in line,
and when it's his turn, the preacher
asks: 'Sir, what do you want me to
pray about for you.?'

Leroy replies: 'Preacher, I need
you to pray for my hearing.' 

The preacher puts one finger in
Leroy's ear, and places the other
hand on top of Leroy's head and
prays, and prays, and prays....for
Leroy. 

After a few minutes, the preacher
removes his hands, stands back and
asks, 'Sir, how is your hearing now?'

Leroy says, 'I don't know, Reverend,
it ain't til next Wednesday!'
 
God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says
to Him, "I don't need you anymore. I have finally
figured out a way to create life out of nothing. 
In other words, I can now do what you did in the
beginning".

"Oh, is that  so? Tell me..." replies God.  

"Well!", says the scientist, "I can  take dirt and
form it into the likeness of you and breathe life
into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's interesting. Show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and
scoops up a handful of dirt and starts to mold it.  

"Oh no, no, no ..." interrupts God,   
 
(I love  this)   
 
 
"Get your own dirt."
 
Shalom,
 
Peter


 

 

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
10/17/2009 12:29:18 AM

Hello Peter,  this is one submitted from a Jaz Jets, team member:

"Physician fooling around with his nurse; eventually she's pregnant and wants to go all the way to full term and delivery.

The physician, supports her 100% by sending her to Europe; funding her travel and living expenses. Before departing, the nurse wanted to know how he wanted to be notified when the child arrived. The physician told her to just send a postcard with the word: SPEGHETTI

Months later; the physician's wife received the mail and noted a strange postcard message from "over seas" and she calls her husband (the physician) to tell him about the card addressed to him from somewhere in Europe.

The physican told his wife that he was with a patient and would explain everything to her when he got home.

Late in the evening, the physician arrives home and the wife greets him with the postcard; he reads the message and immediately,

falls to the floor clutching his chest; his wife frantically dials 911 and was instructed as the paramedics rushed to their home.

Moments later the ambulance arrives and took over stabling the physican; loaded him into the ambulance and quickly drove away. One of the paramedics stayed behind to interview the wife.

The paramedic wanted to know details, prior to the physcian clutching his chest.

The wife shared, that her husband was fine until he read the postcard"

"Speghetti, Speghetti, Speghetti, Speghetti ~ two with meat balls"

Raining Meatballs :)

LOL

Have a Winning Weekend!

Have a Winning Weekend!

Quote:

Hi Peter,

Once again, Thanks for the Smiles.  As a fellow horse-lover, I must say that I agree with their sentiments completely.

To be completely honest, all Politicians seem to rub me the wrong way these days.  Just the other day I was sitting out on the back porch in the swing, just drinking some Ice Tea and pondering

If... 

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?

Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

On a more positive note, though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.

Of course, I think that these Doctors kind of hit the nail on the head...

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and tail are interchangeable."

Finally, since it's Mother's Day, one for the Ladies...

One day I was reading a newspaper. On page two was a picture of a famous politician and his gorgeous wife.

Slightly jealous of the politician, I turned to my wife and said, "It's unfair that the biggest jerks in the world catch the most beautiful wives."

My wife smiled and replied, "Why, thank you dear."

Thanks Again my Friend and just remember...

Have A Terrific Week,

Phil

 

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Peter Fogel

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7259 Posts
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
10/17/2009 7:43:17 AM

Hi Jan,

Good one. Guess the Doctor doesn't like meatballs. :)

Here's one for your weekend enjoyment. It's an oldie but still a good one.

 

 

Monastery Life
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery
Where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked
Vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go
By and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,
"We missed the R ! We missed the R !
We missed the R !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying
Uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies,
"The word was...
CELEBRATE!!!

Shalom,
 
Peter

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Celebration of Life ~ Cardiologist
10/18/2009 2:31:17 AM

A Cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.


A huge heart, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.


Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.


The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral.......I'm a Gynecologist.


The Proctologist fainted.

A proctologist, more often referred to as a colorectal surgeon, is a medical professional who specializes in diseases of the colon, rectum, and anus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Military animation

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