Hello Branka
I have noticed that you place a lot of value on the nurturing and the relationship that a parent develops with their children. I too hold strongly the belief that our children, while unique in many ways, are extensions of ourselves. This too is part of the Communion Of Eternity. As we look around our world we see the children of today as being of lesser moral values than we were as children. I believe that our parents saw the same tendencies in us. It seems that each generation is less morally conscience than the last. There are those who blame this on the lack of religion in the schools. Some blame the government, the economy, war or illegal immigration. My point is that many people look for anyplace to put the blame ,other than upon themselves.
You said that your son is exposed to violent gang type people yet you are not concerned about him becoming part of that culture. You tell him to not turn his back on them but you feel comfortable that he will not be led astray.
This is about " Self Esteem ". I believe that you have instilled in your son a sense of self esteem that will guide him in his decision making. Self esteem builds leaders and the less of it one has, the more likely they are to be followers.
I have a forum thread on this very topic. It is titled
The Greatest Gift You can Give Your Child. Self Esteem.
To nuture the self esteem is to nurture the child. So many parents try to nuture their children through dicipline and controll rather than instilling in them the knowledge and confidence that they really need. So many of us were raised under the the iron hand of dicipline that it seemed to be the best way. The fact that each generation is less diciplined than the last tells me that we are moving in the wrong direction. If a certain amount of punishment did not improve the morals and behaviour of one generation, why is it that people belive that even more dicipline will improve the next generation. So often dicipline involves causing a child to feel guilty or even worse, ashamed.
Think of it like this. If you have three children and you raise each of them differently, how will they turn out. One is raised with guilt dicipline. Another is raised in shame. The third is raised with praise and confidence. Which will be most likely to respond the best to their nurturing.
A child made to feel guilty always feels that he has done something wrong. A child raised in shame always feels that something is wrong with him. The third will have aquired " self Esteem ".
So, if we are the products of our parents and our parents failed to raise us to be self confident, guilt and shame free adults then, why would we believe that increasing the amount of their nurturing would make our children better than ourselves.
This is why the war on drugs is so counter productive. As the punishment continues to get more severe, the risk factor for dealing drugs goes up too. This causes higher prices and entices even more people to get involved. It also makes the criminal resort to more drastic measures to avoid being arrested. Measures that include ,killing potential witness, shooting the arresting officer and killing each other for the added gain of power and wealth. Another example of the Communion Of Eternity. Harsher punishment= Higer prices. Higher Prices = Harsher Punishment.
Baby Kaleb, we send you our love,our prayers and our healing light.
May a smile follow you to sleep each night,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
and be there waiting,,, when you awaken.
Sincerly, Bill Vanderbilt
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