Hi,
Here's an old one, I remember this going around at the time of the Vietnam war.
The President was visiting troops in hospital.
He asked the first soldier what his problem was.
THe soldier replied, ''I have constant diaorreah and cant put on weight''.
The president asked what treatment the man was having and the soldier pointed to a bucket of white fluid with a brush in it. ''They dip the brush in that fluid and paint the affected area with it'', he said
''Well done, carry on soldier'', said the president
The president visited the next bed and asked the soldier his problem.
''A sexually transmitted disease''said the man.
''And what treatment are you receiving?, said the president.
The soldier pointed to the same bucket and brush and gave the same answer.
The president asked him what he wanted to do when he was cured and the guy said,
''Get back to my unit and fight for my country''
''Well done carry on'' said the president.
The next guy had running sores all over his body and he told the president the same, he too just wanted to get back to his unit.
The next guy had gangrene and was receiving the same treatment and again when asked he said the same. The same treatment and the same aim, to get back to his buddies.
Finally the president got to a bed where the soldier was sitting by the bed reading a newspaper and looked fine. He had just arrived.
''Why are you here soldier'' said The President.
''Well you see Sir, I was eating a chocolate bar and one of my back teeth broke and I swallowed it''
''Shucks said the President, that's rough luck but they will soon sort you out. What treatment are you going to get?''
''Well'', said the man ''You see that bucket of white stuff over there with the Brand new brush in it?''
''Yeah, Yeah'', said The President, ''Standard practise I believe?''
''Well soldier, I suppose that your biggest wish is to get better and get back with your buddies?'', said The President.
''No Sir, my main ambition is to get the brush treatment before the other guys.