Hi Kathy,

I would like to say how much I understand how it is.

It is so much easier to crawl into corners and cry. But like me, I know that after a bad day or a bad morning you just have to take a breath, bite your lip and then say ''Now what was it I had to do next?''

Thank you for bearing your soul. Some still won't believe you or want to but, SO WHAT?

You have guts and determination and I admire that.

I know what it is like. For many years I fought to shake off my unprivilaged upbringing (but I was well loved). I married a very bright lady who took me as I was and didn't care about background. She was not from a well off family but was better educated.

I was always a bright student when it came to projects and finding out about stuff but could not remember names, dates, formulae etc. in fact anythingthat had to be learned formally like a poem. Put it to music I could remember it.

It took me until I was in my 50's to discover that I had always believed what my mother and sister said ''You are stupid''. I know really that it's not true but deep down I still believed it. I thank God that I loved to read and write and that my English was my best gift.

To cut a long story short, after many career changes mainly within the printing and publishing world I ended up as a gardener and designer. Wonderful life, good money but big losses too. I have always been a workaholic so ended up doing Amway and several MLM businesses within the UK.

Then I got involved with a telecom MLM, I built a decent downline and was then invited (after a company takeover) to invest in the new USA company, I built a downline of many thousand and took advice and reinvested the money in the new European expansion. I made $6,000,000 in investment holdings but never got to touch a dime. The expansion cost the company their life, wound up bust. To clean up my afairs and liabilities cost me a fortune and I ended up with $120,000 worth of debt, no house and a stack of creditors.

I still today fight off my creditors as in the UK it costs too much to go bankrupt and I can't afford it.

Today I work a full-time garden business, work part-time doing hypnotherapy and NLP and have my online businesses which I fight to make succeed (and I WILL). but with the pain of my arthritis comes a worsening of my autistic problem so, I print out everything and create vast files. Lose track of whether I have upgraded or which program is promoting what and lose passwords.

I get huge email lists daily and try to answer all perdonal stuff. My wife hates me being on the computer so I do most into the night, trying to be quiet and getting more and more confused.

I LOVE PEOPLE and so my hypnotherapy is great as I can relate and listen and understand deeply what I do, however I am stopped from taking further exams by my problem in learning and then proving on paper that I understand. I make good money at that work but it is sporadic and best when I receive referrals.

You will see tyat I have often said I will ring or join a call but dont always do so because I get swept up with the newdaily affairsand cant get back to do so.

I have now rationalized a lot and hope to learn from Andy Anderson.

I belong to some of your programms but cant keep pace with your advertidsing suggestions.

I spend many dollars a week on things like Search Big Daddy and NPN and so forth but make no progress because I just dont understand.

Hopefully Andy is going to help.

I wanted to do the 3D stuff but my technical problems are too expensive to solve at the moment. Can't get that top work.

This is not a moan or a cry for help or a winge.This is to show that I DONT GIVE UP EITHER. My family dont even know what I lost. They just know that I'm always trying and wont give in and that I'm broke They do not know I was a paper millionaire. Sometimes they think it's funny but they have a resect also. I am determined at 60 years old I am not going to scrape on a basic unliveable state pension in five years time.

I will have a huge online business which will net me BIG money, YES.

Adl;and is great because I gwet to meet folk like you. You are a star and I understand that concept. See you at the top.

My sadness is that my wife and children dont share my faith in God, they are good people but let negative drag them back. I WILL SHOW THEM WHAT FAITH CAN DO, MOVE MOUNTAINS, THAT'S NOTHING.

I will get to speak to you and I will get my businesses with you moving, I am getting there.

Forgive an old man's ramblings but I thought you would like to know I'm a kindred spirit.

You are welcome to use this information as long as my identity is kept out.