Here's the link to today's WHAMMY featuring Tracy Chapman's fantastic performances of "Fast Car..."Give Me One Reason"...."New Beginning"...and "Baby Can I Hold You"
http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/thread/605058.aspx

And now for some haha's...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = baby

OFFICE ARITHMETIC:

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn''t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS:

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY:

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn''t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won''t change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You''re next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT .

Hello everybody,

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

 
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

 

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

 

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tel l you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!   

LOL Gus!

Andy Rooney has an understated brilliance!  One of the things older women do when the game is on...we take our husbands' credit cards and go shopping!  Or we sit online chatting with handsome strangers who aren't watching the game, ha!

Ha, Ha, Ha!!

Your killin' me!!!

Hi Sheryl,

I got that stuff from our friend Georgios, he wants to kill us softly with his words...wooo!