Well Robert,
its lucky I don't need the freebie as my brain is mush!!! Ok at a punt, they are all boating terms, lol?...........Its Sunday just finished reading the jokes oh by the way folks, lol, very good. Man does this full up an evening in downunderland.
Then I come & read this and see you got all serious and thought wtf?
Now I am normally quite pleasant so I think I should stop right here right now but ah there is something I wish to get off my chest, my new autosurf started today and I did a post please read. Now on a lighter note. Here is my contribution to the joke forum and some snipets us kiwis get a giggle off so I hope your brits and usa people know its funny, lol.
Ok I read one today please don't be offended but its funny to me:
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10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it
was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to
me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted
three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art
method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
lol remember its just a joke,
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Top 6 Smartass Answers
SMARTASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters
Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John,
seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she
replied.
SMARTASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."
SMARTASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMARTASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you
all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast
as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.
SMARTASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,
the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop
gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on
his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class
of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for
you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family,
but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the
back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if
tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write
the exam with your other hand
ok next, lol.
byes from kiwigal & kiwiland I think I did enough!!!
Lisa