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Sammy 320 291 New Br...	LAWS of ULTIMATE REALITY 2/15/2009 9:38:53 PM
	Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the bathroom Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. The Starbucks Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctors' Law If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
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Sammy 320 291 New Br...	HOW TO BE TRULY WEALTHY 2/19/2009 5:57:29 PM
	So many people think that wealth and possessions are what they truly want, but there's something far better. Aren't the things described here what everyone longs for? There is true wealth in peace with God, wholesome living, and gaining honor by being a person of character. This lifestyle involves possessing the wisdom to acquire and manage wealth properly, so that it's truly a blessing—not only to oneself but others as well. The way to get what we want most in life is to seek God's ways and his wisdom. Don't seek wealth; seek wisdom instead! Only a life lived God's way leads to true riches, honor, and justice.
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Sammy 320 291 New Br...	Seven reasons not to mess with children 2/21/2009 9:28:01 PM
	7 reasons not to mess with children. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
	LOOK.....FEEL....LIVE....to the MAX http://www.getmaxnfused.com Get paid for reading emails, $10.00 bonus for signing up! http://hits4pay.com/members/index.cgi?barky Come visit http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/thread/582176.aspx
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Sammy 320 291 New Br...	Some Very Interesting STUFF 2/22/2009 9:31:41 PM
	In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb' ------------------------------------------- Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ------------------------------------------- The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. ------------------------------------------- Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. ------------------------------------------- Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ------------------------------------------- Coca-Cola was originally green. ------------------------------------------- It is impossible to lick your elbow. ------------------------------------------- Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A.. Peggy ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'? A. One thousand ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All were invented by women. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase.......... 'goodnight, sleep tight...' ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's' ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Now.... Don't skip over this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the firstand last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
	LOOK.....FEEL....LIVE....to the MAX http://www.getmaxnfused.com Get paid for reading emails, $10.00 bonus for signing up! http://hits4pay.com/members/index.cgi?barky Come visit http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/thread/582176.aspx
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Sammy 320 291 New Br...	I Can RELATE, how about you? 2/22/2009 9:48:35 PM
	This has been around before but it's the best 50's video's I've seen. It was one of the best of times in many ways... http://oldfortyfives.com/TakeMeBackToTheFifties.htm
	LOOK.....FEEL....LIVE....to the MAX http://www.getmaxnfused.com Get paid for reading emails, $10.00 bonus for signing up! http://hits4pay.com/members/index.cgi?barky Come visit http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/thread/582176.aspx
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