My Dear & Respected Friend Kathy....!

Thank you for your invitation and this "Wonderful Post".

Yes....I do have a "Happy Married Life".....(and I have taken permission from my wife to say so....................LOL).

Thanking you, once again.

With Warm Regards and Respect.....!

Your Ever Loving Friend,

Mohamed Gani.

Hello Brian my friend,
Your light hearted comment is actually very deep.
When one learns to live making themselves happy and not expecting fulfillment from the other person-one indeed learns to tolerate his/her spouse.
If they're gonna be around for a long, long time-you darn well better!

Hello Brian, You ask amazing questions,wellI cant say alot since I am divorced now But thats another story.In my dream life I think you cant have a perfect relationship because theres nothing perfect but If I was to find the close to perfect I would first find someone who has similiar passions,desires and goals as mine or at least someone who thinks I am so amazing and will support my ideas dreams and goals and desires as I would support them.I want someone who will compliment my life as I would theres. You need to find someone who can help grow your life not set it backwards or just want to have it stand still.The saying is your suppose to be with your mate to grow with eachother.Its hard if your not both on the same page.I have visions in my head how MY NEXT RELATIONSHIP COULD BE LIKE BUT you know me I like to be in dream world its safer and not so complicated. So Brian, we need to ask how and what and where questions when choosing a mate.also very important always find someone who will help you not tear you down,the first sign of negativity or signs of not interested in what you do believe or feel then those are your red flags. hope this helps,kathy/simikathy.net

The main point of the message is not just compatability. All the things Kathy said are right on and very important for everyone in a relationship even those who do not have children.

The quote:

"But I have three preschoolers! I work part time, do all my own housework, cooking, and laundry. I just don’t have any more energy at the end of the day to “work” on my marriage."

The hardest job on earth is being a mom. God bless them. Children are a blessing and a commitment that should not be seen as a distraction or problem. Nothing can come between the love of a mother and child. The commitment changes when a child comes in to the relationship and creates a family. Children need to feel secure in the family. It is a lot more than learning to tolerate one another.

Sorry to barge back in but John directs us to the quote that ends in "at the end of the day to "work" on my marriage". Reading that line I wonder why those things are apart from the marriage.
In this day and age (maybe ideal world thinking) both parents would be responsible for those things, otherwise the cycle of Mom working in and out of the home and Dad sitting in front of the tube waiting for dinner-gets passed on to the next generation.

If it is truly a partnership how can these important tasks be relegated to one half of it?