A is for Apple, and B is for Boat, That used to be right, But now it won't float! Age before Beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! P for prescription's, I have quite a few, Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R for reflux, one meal turns to two. S for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know. W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind. I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed
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